When we had time to think

Read Psalm 139. The psalmist implies—

“O Lord, You are the God of the early mornings, the God of the late nights, the God of the mountain peaks, and the God of the sea. But, my God, my soul has horizons further away than those of early mornings, deeper darkness than the nights of earth, higher peaks than any mountain peaks, greater depths than any sea in nature. You who are the God of all these, be my God. I cannot reach to the heights or to the depths; there are motives I cannot discover, dreams I cannot realize. My God, search me.”




When I think of my time, I don't think about the soul having horizons further than the dawn. What a joy and great thing it is to think of words that can express the vastness of our inner capabilities and limits. That God can know me that intimately. That I should ponder Him.

Christian Dating Rant

I was looking for a book I got a long time ago called "Now that you've asked her out." and I came across this article. You should read it and formulate your own thoughts before reading my response below. But for the record, I almost had a subject line of "grow some balls." But I thought better of it.

https://www.premierchristianity.com/Blog/70-per-cent-of-single-women-want-Christian-men-to-man-up-and-ask-them-out  

The gist I see is christians in their 20's and 30's are not dating. The result is, women in the church are finding more success "dating" outside the church. Furthermore, their suggested solutions include: Date outside the church; Online Dating; Don't date. 

Legitimately, online dating sites are not setting up long term relationships. That is a side benefit of their platform. They are setting up DATES! A date on the calendar, a one time event to see if what you see is what you get. A chance to get to know someone and if it doesn't work out, you move on. No harm no foul. Doesn't this sound like a date? "Why yes, Rob, that does sound like a date and not a relationship." Do people refer to their online dates as boyfriends or girlfriends? I sure hope not. Expectations are clear and this is important for successful dating.

One of my goals for my boys was to date in the High School years. Learn how to take a girl out without running into the commitment issue of marriage or break-up. The stats in the study show most christian women only date ONE person from their church, multiple from outside. If you know me, you've heard me say, one of the saddest things that can happen when your dauther leaves the nest is for her to have to answer the dating question "I've never really gone out with a guy."

I think this answer leads to the part in the study where christian guys devalue the girl. Why? Because nobody in High School thought she was worth it. Now, she is full on "clock is ticking" mode, she thinks she has to put-out to get him. 

Consider the alternative of "I've dated lots of guys and so far, few have met my standards."  I believe that people do want a spiritual anchor in their lives. Even as a Christian in High School, it wasn't until I ran into a girl that respected her own sexuality that I said "I want that kind of faith!" And my spiritual pursuit grew as a result of the girl standing on her beliefs.

Therefore, it makes sense that a non-christian would honor or treat a christian girl with more respect. They want that virtue. There is a God hole inside us, right? The problem I see with this approach is the foundation of the relationship is at risk. The longer that the guy has been a non christian or non-practicing christian the more likely the couple will have huge differences in the core of their marriage beliefs or expectations.

This just leads to another theory of mine which is to marry young. As Dawn and I approach 25 years together, we recognize that we have grown together and formed a stronger union together in every way - financially, spiritually, physically, intellectually, socially, and emotionally. Was it easy? No. But we were in it for the long haul from the very start (of our marriage) - just like you want a christian relationship to be. But if you are disillusioned (like the people in this study seem to be on "God's desire for finding a mate") then your faith in God's plan is going to be less/weaker.

The reason I was looking for the book is because Jesse is now "dating" a girl. I call it "going steady." The issue is, nothing has really changed except that now he cannot date any other girl. Over the two weeks leading up to and thru Valentine's day, we were trying to encourage him to be thoughtful and creative. "What does she like? want to do? etc.." The answer? Just be together. 

You and I know that is a lie. She wants him to surprise her. But he has to learn that on his own. 

But you know in your marriage, there is a beauty in just being together. Going through the good and bad together. 

My belief is that the longer you are without someone the more likely you are to never get that deep connection with anyone. Look at the comment at the end of the article about the gal saying "I'm better off alone." This may be for the "Paul" types - but even as she says it, I don't think that is her real heart's desire. In fact, it is odd for me to watch one of my female friends with her new baby, and wife. Connection can be found - there are other solutions. But what happened in her youth that made this the choice?

At the end of the day, I'm sad by the dating scene and maybe I need to write my own book on why I kissed dating hello. But for now, I'm open to your thoughts, ideas and responses.

rt

Withholding Good

Think about the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:30.

You know the story - the good "holy" people pass by the person in need while the "non-holy" and "despised" Samaritan stopped and helped the person who had been left for dead.

Jesus tells this story to the holy rollers of the day and really, didn't make many friends with his story. But over and over, we find Jesus talking to people who are "less than desireable."

We have the woman at the well, divorced multiple times. He had a tax collector in the dozen, and also spent time eating with Zacheus. The women that followed him were often stuck in addictions, maybe secret single parents due to their "profession."

People may not be bleeding on the outside. In fact, Jesus seemed to find people that were broken on the inside.

Personally, by and large, I believe that people on the street are not there by choice. But I've talked to many that stay there by choice. If I invite them to a place where there is food and shelter like the Union Gospel Mission, they say "No - they want me to change." Which means, "I prefer the drugs and other habits over the shelter and food." In fact, in Seattle, the guys holding out cups literally have signs that say "I'm not going to lie, I'm hungry but I'm going to buy drugs." And the people in the stadium laugh at them and drop in their coins.

When we pass by a person in need, what are we saying? What are we justifying in our heads? See, you just heard what bothers me about giving to the needy. I know I'm struggling to feed my own family. Why would I give in these situations.

Love requires Sacrifice.

I'm challenged. Is the stuff I own available for God's use in my life? Then I came across this verse:

Proverbs 3:27 - Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.

I'm not trying to justify my situation when I withhold money - but I wonder if I'm giving my talent, or perhaps just my time.

I will always remember Mother Theresa saying to a visitor "Did you touch the lepers? Yes.? Yes. They like that." Touching the untouchable is a gift.

Can I do the same? Maybe I don't have treasure, but what do I have to give?

Where are we going?

I want you to think. You've heard stories about your parents getting grounded or maybe even getting spankings. But go back a generation and they were giving spankings in schools - with paddles. And go back again I remember my grandparents having to cut their own branch from a willow tree to come back in and "git a likin'."

There were TV shows of adults hauling kids by their ears to and fro. Discipline was a part of every day life. It was expected and it made us wiser, stronger, and better for it.

Today, we have learned to be "patient." There is a better way to teach our children, letting them explore the world around them and discover what works and what doesn't work.

What I see is a decline from the Greatest Generation - those that lived through the Great Depression. Those that endured and fought in World War II to this new generation, they feel they are "entitled." OMG like, the new iPhone is coming out. I'm going to get my camping gear ready.

It is a changing world. So where does patience and acceptance come into play?

I fear that we have become soft. Where is the heart of America - the farm workers? Factory workers? Many have been moved overseas. Jobs that could be done cheaper somewhere else are being done somewhere else. Now those jobs seem below us. But they weren't below our grandparents. Those people I look up to with such esteem.

Patiently, I raise my kids and can only wonder how to instill in them the work ethic of my parents and grandparents. Hopefully, they see the opportunity before them is not something to be taken for granted.

Giving til you love

Today's reading was from Philippians and it took me to a couple places.

First, we are all different. We have different hopes and desires. Booker T Washington said "There is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem." 

Which simply means, you may work with your hands or your minds. but in both cases, I would suggest doing it "unto the Lord." 

The verse accompanying the reading was Philippians 3:14, I press on toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Jesus Christ.

Which led to this verse from Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Mind the gap (jump from platform to train)

Every marriage is a union of two selfish people who both naturally want to "do it my way." Did you know your mom and I have had to have conversations about how to fold towels and how to hang shirts? You may have heard us say "Don't compromise, but rather be happy knowing the other is happy."

In that statement, you are yielding your own desires for the other person's desires and finding joy in their perspective - giving them dignity and value in their choice (to work with their hands {tilling} vs voice {poem}).

How does this play out in dating? Give. Give without any thought of getting anything in return. Some people will absorb your giving. Some people will give it back. 

Give where you can. Again, if you have words, use words. If you have hands, use hands. If you have money, use gifts. Give what God has given to you.

The thing is, this applies not only to dating but to everything. That's why dating should be easy. It doesn't matter if it is your best friend or your least favorite. In fact, the Message puts it this way: “I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

You enemies. So how much more should you give to someone you are treating out for an afternoon/evening. Like I said, giving doesn't have to be STUFF, it can be time, energy, conversation. But you have to be the giver.

Think about it.

Family/Marriage Inventory

This was too good to pass up. Read a blog by Andrew Linder today. In it he said:

“To be successful, you need to know what makes her tick, and you also need to know what ticks her off.”

Click Here for the full article.

Did I say that?

I was reading from "All Pro Dad" about preparing my boys for manhood. This included a section about becoming a father and starting a family. All things that are visible down the tracks in my household.

But this article struck me because of #2, "Respect." It is something that I feel I have failed on and didn't realize until I've watched it play out in my kids.

I've been a part of several companies and been as high as Vice President. However, I've always reached a limit of sorts, when I encounter the next level up. In each case, I'm not in positional authority and therefore must submit to that authority.

This may sound like every employee complaining about their boss. But to be honest, it isn't. Some people are going to complain if they had to work for a saint like Mother Theresa.

And that is when it hit me. My young adult children have only seen me in my later years, the years where I was near the top. They have seen me struggle against the next level and point out the inconsistencies and alternate solutions. They have heard my heart and desire and how "logical" it all sounds.

That is because I have been used to being able to "vent" with my wife. My wife knows me like none other. She helps recharge me so I can go back in another day and do it again. She knows that my actions at work are consistent to the forgiving and gracious character that I have and display on the outside everywhere I go. Everywhere I go, except home.

So there it is, my kids see my critical side. And as such, haven't learned the grace that we should give others. The Grace that God offers us that we in turn can offer others. Now I wish I could turn back the clock and be more careful about where I discuss my woes. Or that I could show them my actions when I am at work over my criticism about work.

There is the life that I live, and then there are the battles that rage in my head. My home has been the place I let my guard down and I see that was a mistake because of how critical and inconsiderate my kids are towards others. They are fine with the people they like, but not everybody.

As a soccer coach, I tell my players that as much as you feel others pushing, pulling or grabbing at you, your team is pushing, pulling and grabbing at them. It is so easy to see the speck in your friend's eye and completely ignore the plank in your own. And so I write to myself here.

My prayer now is that they learn more about God's grace so they can extend it to others. Plain and simple. And with what time I have left, I hope I can be a better example.

Being Proud

Sometime when you’re feeling important; Sometime when your ego’s in bloom Sometime when you take it for granted You’re the best qualified in the room, Sometime when you feel that your going Would leave an unfillable hole, Just follow these simple instructions And see how they humble your soul; Take a bucket and fill it with water, Put your hand in it up to the wrist, Pull it out and the hole that’s remaining Is a measure of how you’ll be missed. You can splash all you wish when you enter, You may stir up the water galore, But stop and you’ll find that in no time It looks quite the same as before. The moral of this quaint example Is do just the best that you can, Be proud of yourself but remember, There’s no indispensable man.

---

Potential Author Saxon White Kessinger. May have been published Anonymously as early as 1959

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Other References: "Indispensable Man" was originally published in "The Nutmegger Poetry Club under the name Saxon Uberuaga. It has also been published in "Boots" in Spring 1993, in "The Country Courier" 1996, "Rhyme Time" in Winter 2000, and in "Golden Times" in August 2003.

Rise by Lifting

The Bigger Picture

What is the bigger picture? I know that in sport, we often see some sort of objective and focus only on that objective.

Bowling might be the easiest to examine. Get a strike every time - that's the un-obscured clear cut, do it every time big picture.

But it turns out - maybe not. If you are on a team, you might need people with a good handicap score. I have to admit, this is one case where I don't get the bigger picture.

Often, I am frustrated by my average life. I can look around and say "I'm so good at this!" but I play a comparison game with someone else and say "But I'm not that good."

I've often said, I'm the jack of all trades, master of none. I really do believe I could do anything. I could teach, I could do HR, I could program, I could manage programs, I could manage products, I could coach, I could build buildings, I could be an astronomer, I could write, I could clean toilets or I could groom animals. It really doesn't matter.

You know what my biggest limitation is? Food. There are some things I just can't eat. Outside of that, I feel confident I could do about anything and be successful.

So what is the bigger picture for my life? I have to admit, the things I'm best at are around people. Do you know what it is like to love and be loved deeply? What about trust? It is wonderful to have trust. Being able to lift someone's day just by hanging out with them - that's pretty cool too.

I suppose I find that I have a bright mind which serves me well. But in the end, I'm not hoping they say how good I was at my job. Rather, I hope they say I loved well. If I keep my eye on this bigger picture, I feel like I am successful.

The Greater Lie

Is there a greater lie? Can you tell a lie that isn't important, a little white lie that doesn't matter?

Well the obvious answer is yes, you can. But then you have to ask the question, what do you sacrifice when you do something like that?

It wasn't too long ago that I was on this topic. But it came up again as I was in Proverbs 12 and Proverbs 30. I love this piece from Proverbs 30:

Two things I ask of you, Lord;
    do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
    give me neither poverty nor riches,
    but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
    and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
    and so dishonor the name of my God.

I love that. Let me be dependent enough to continually recognize your provision, and not so needy that I am compelled to steal.

But the first part is what stood out. This pairing is "Keep falsehood away" and "give me my daily bread."

I've often criticized myself for having a bad memory. Part of this is intentional. Like Einstein said “Paper is to write things down that we need to remember. Our brains are used to think.” I certainly employ this with my work.

But with my life, I don't want to have to write down the lies I've told. I only want to live a life that is open and with a clear conscious.

Remember from my earlier post, once you start a trail of lies, your brain will literally think on ways of validating those lies. The best thing is to not start down that path.

Just like many shavings make a pile, many small lies will add up to something significant - and I don't want you to find yourself in a situation where your world comes unraveled because of a series of small lies that led to a greater lie.

You Can't Win Them All

You can't win them all. That's what struck me when I was reading in Galatians today. In the first chapter, Paul is hounding the people of Galatia saying, "Hey! I told you something miraculous - why are you ignoring it?"

He points out that his life is a changed life. I can't think of one more changed. He was specifically one that attacked Christians, then he is confronted by Jesus Christ himself (note, this is the Jesus Christ that was crucified, but raised from the dead). This confrontation resulted in him receiving a divine revelation that taught him the message that we now call the Gospel.

He went from being a killer of Christians to being a creator of Christians. And given that he had the message directly from Jesus, the resurrected Christ (and not hearsay) it was a pretty direct and compelling message.

I can understand why he would write this letter to these people. He's astonished that they could ignore such an amazing love and call to love. So, sorry Paul, you can't win them all.

But you know what. I've read and heard the story too. I believe it. And I find myself struggling in my day to day to be victorious. Some days, I'm great. others, I struggle. In fact, as a new Christian, I was confronted regularly about things that God says in the Bible that I should apply to my life.

Take swearing. When I was in High School, everybody did it. I grew up in a military family. It was fairly normal in military life. You hear "Bad Words" quite often, but at what point and time did I realize that I didn't have control over it.

For me, I was an adult with four kids. I was playing soccer and someone took me down from behind. I landed on and split my knee cap. As I rolled around on the ground, I was swearing up a storm. That night and into the next week, my mind kept coming back to that. I was put in a cast from my toes to my hip, but what dug into my mind more was not my knee, but the fact that my teammates all knew I was a Christian, and I just went off so bad I could make a sailor blush.

I'm not perfect, but I've gone through more broken bones, car accidents, and heated discussions since that time. My words have changed. I'm more creative. There are more laughs after I "swear" with a Yosemite Sam "Dag-Nabbit!" than if I had said something else.

I can't win them all either. But I have made some huge strides in pushing back the dark side of myself.

What about you? What things (big or small) have you made huge strides in? Perhaps a full 180 like Paul?

Opposites

I find it no surprise that both fish and birds were created on the same day. Have you ever watched a school of fish move almost as one unit, then do the same for birds. They are amazing.

Have you ever looked at ash falling from the sky, and yet if it was white you could call it snow. Fire and Ice.

I just get caught up in the wonder of it all.

Have you noticed other opposites like that?


Like the biggest on of all, like how about the idea that death could bring life?

Working for a higher purpose

When a team "wins it all" the question becomes, "What are you going to do next?" If you don't repeat at the top, are you worse than you were last year?

Think about it this way, there was a point in time when we said it was impossible to break the 4 minute mile. But now we know you can.

Or, there was a time back in the 1900's when they were going to close the patent office because they thought we had reached enlightenment - what else could we possibly invent?

There is the idea of training to win. This will get you to a certain standard. But what about the idea of training to a standard? Or perhaps rather than working toward a goal, work for a reason.

Give purpose to what you are doing.

When we work, we are ultimately part of something bigger. In a traditional sense, it may be putting together a house, writing a new application, helping someone through life issues, or investing in the next generation. It is bigger than just you.

In sport, even individual sport, we are competing to be the best we can be. But that isn't about just an individual. Every top athlete has a coach, and probably a trainer. They spend time with other people in their field, learning from the mistakes of others. Even in the individual sports (like running), there is a tendency to interact with others, share articles, tips and tricks on recovery, where you give to others that are trying to learn from you.

Becoming the best is great, staying the best is great. But ultimately, working toward being the best with the talents you have been given, and creating the best work environment you possibly can means that your work is never really finished. You may look up and find yourself at the top of the heap. But the ultimate goal, to make yourself and those around you better is a higher calling.

Like the four minute mile, it may not be possible today. But what about tomorrow? How can you encourage the people around you to better and better and better? In doing so, create the best possible work place to be a part of.

Honor vs Honors

What is the difference between graduating with honors and earning the medal of honor?

In both cases, you have to earn it. Graduating with honors shows that you have taken the time and energy required to pass your courses.

What does this say about the person that graduates with honors? It might say they are dedicated to their studies - but we all know this is only true some of the time. That's because we all have met the accidental genius that just seems to be able to memorize history and math facts as easily as the alphabet. They make the typical honors student mad with how easy they earn their grades.

But in general, we might say they worked hard. It doesn't tell us if they are going to be a good boss, a good parent, or a good spouse. It simply tells us they can study and pass an exam.

What about the medal of honor? Well, you have to join the military for one. And after that, you have to do something that shows "Conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty."

That's a lot of words to say "I was willing to lay my life down for the good of others."

Interesting how one honor is a measure of the mind, while the other might be a measure of the heart.

Both are commendable. But I have to admit, beyond education, it is hard to earn more honors for intellect. However, even the simplest among us (Forest Gump) are capable of earning honor that comes from a heart condition.

How might you earn honor in your day to day? Certainly, you don't have to take a bullet. But honor can come from, well, honesty. Another thing you might find is that being sincere or dependable are characteristics others value and... honor.

What about living out your honor? Being respectful, helpful, and thoughtful toward others - whether friend, stranger, or enemy. Being consistent to yourself despite how others treat you. These are again honorable traits.

In all these cases, these things are within your power to control. Will you make a choice to live honorably? What specifically will you do (at home, at work, at play)?

Needed

It's strange. When you go down the street, you see "Help Wanted" signs in the windows of stores. But what if there was a sign that said "Help Needed?" Is there a difference?

There seems to be an internal desire to be needed. In fact, most people need something. It may not be a physical thing at all.

There is something I do that I didn't really notice. But I discovered when I'm mixing a lot - in a semi-social semi-professional environment. I make eye contact and I smile at people.

You know, this simple gesture seems to make people smile. And that, in return, makes me feel like I gave them something. Which is true. Apparently smiling reduces stress. So I reduce stress, and the person that smiles back is reducing stress. Which makes me glad I did it.

The thing is, people need more than a smile. They need conversation. They need affirmation. They need encouragement. They need to be cared for physically. They need to be touched physically. They need help even when they say they don't. People need each other.

I find this at work in my home. I need my wife and she needs me. I need my kids, and they need me. How we express those needs is challenging. Ultimately, we desire comfort. So putting my family needs above my own can be uncomfortable.

But I learned a long time ago that if I lift someone up, they will in turn lift me up. Maybe not the first time, or the second time, but with time, they will reciprocate. And as we love each other, we can build to greater things.

The more I humble myself, the more those around me become humble and do the same.

Lend a helping hand today.

Forgiveness Changes You

Do you have something that pops to your mind when you think "Forgive and Forget?"

I usually jump to one of the big hurts in my life and I realize that I'm identifying the hurt first. Second, I remember the people that were involved in causing that hurt.

At no point in thinking about "Forgive & Forget" do I think about the moment I forgave the person that hurt me. And clearly, I'm remembering the issue, not forgetting it. Isn't that weird?

Now consider the opposite side. Have you ever done something that ended up hurting someone else? It may be a surprise to you to find this difficult to bring to mind. "Have I ever been so cruel?"

Ironically, I'm sure we have. By and large, I think people believe the best about themselves. It is hard to think about yourself in a negative way - as in someone that makes a choice to hurt someone else.

Pretty much, I believe most people are good. But that doesn't stop us from messing up and whether intentionally (out of selfish desires) or unintentionally hurting others.

They say holding onto unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

In fact, forgiveness may bring enormous benefits. WebMD says you are likely to enjoy lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and a drop in the stress. You may also feel less back pain, have fewer digestive issues and headaches may become less frequent.

That sounds nice.

Ultimately, when I come back to Forgive and Forget, I really come back to something I've adopted called "replacement theory." That is, I need to replace bad things with good.

In the case of a person that has hurt me, I need to first recognize they may be just like me - not that bad after all. Second, I need to look for positive engagements with them. That is, part of forgiving is replacing the hurt with joy.

This is probably both hardest and easiest with our family. First, these wounds can be the worst. More and more today we are discovering young people with horrific abuse in their past (apologies for bringing this up). But the restoration of those young people to their relatives is the most powerful.

Think of it like being forgiven a debt of $1 so you could buy a coke vs being forgiven the debt owed on your home. It is quite possible you have forgotten to pay back someone some small change it is so insignificant, but how can you pay back someone who pays off your home? That payment is powerful.

My hope is that you can find ways of letting go of hurt and becoming empowered by forgiveness. I know that my life was changed by forgiveness.

Freedom, Happiness

Life is tricky. It seems some people hit the jack pot without even trying. I ran into a friend of mine that I used to skateboard with. He had problems passing most of his classes but made it through. He wasn't the most popular of people. In fact, he was usually one of the guys that was easily swayed into doing things on the edge. Perfect fraternity pledge type.

Fast forward 25 years and we both have kids on the swim team. But he is living in waterfront property with country club manicured yards and maids etc, while I'm hoping my car doesn't break down because I'll have no way of repairing it.

On the one side, I might be unhappy about my living situation and jealous of his apparent "living the life" type of outward appearance.

But here is the other side. My buddy was lit. Meaning, the only way he was really finding happiness was to escape to something that gives him an artificial buzz. And as for me, I have it better than so many people. If I live on the edge of bankruptcy for the rest of my life, I'm still rich beyond so many.

Blessings are everywhere if you look for them and stop comparing yourself to the Instagram / Facebook / Twitter worlds.

I walked away from a great career. In doing so, I estimate I've left maybe three quarters of a million dollars on the table. That seems shocking to me. And right now, I have peace. I don't have a nice car, a beautiful yard, but I'm happy - so happy in the simple things.

I find that I left aimlessness to seek purpose.

The journey continues.

I lift my eyes up

We all do it. Every morning we wake up and something addresses us. It may be the dread of a new work day. It may be the joy of our spouse. It may be the uncertainty of a message, phone call or email response we haven't received.

Every day we wake up and we start.

The way each day will look to you all starts with whom you're looking too.

Ultimately, we all pray. When we hear something that someone is going through, we sympathize with them and want to help them, if only we knew how. "I'll pray for you." There is that moment when you are stressed to hear of a horrible accident and we utter the words "Oh God, no! Please no!" Or the times when we are so happy, we can't help but turn our eyes up and say "Thank you."

Somewhere deep inside us, we long to acknowledge that this isn't just chance. We can't reconcile how one glob of goo decided, decided, to be a fish with a glowing orb and another decided a graceful gazelle.

And if we align ourselves with the idea that someone is capable of interceeding in our lives, then each day can look quite different, right from the start.

For me, I know that I'm horrible at prayer. Maybe better than some, but certainly not where I want to be. My goal is to do better, one day at a time. To lift up my family, my friends, my coworkers and those that are against me.

Perhaps the hardest person to pray for is myself.

Measure of a Heart

I was at an event recently. It was designed to allow people to socialize and really determine if this is a group of people you could hang out with.

We've all been there. You show up at a social event and it is kind of like that Heineken Commercial "Cheers to the unexpected" You are the guy in a suit when everybody else is in a costume. Or you were expecting a couple people and you're shoulder to shoulder standing room only.

Socially we run into the same thing. You find yourself talking to the astrophysicist in the room. Or the person that knows everything about every subject. And let's not forget the me-monster.

Recently, I was being social, helping people relax and laugh when the laughter was interrupted by "Well let's let her answer the question!" My immediate thought was "you don't get invited to many parties do you?"

But the point for me is what makes a person someone you genuinely want to be around? I've been around some really intelligent people. And there is always a real person inside. The guy that founded the company, literally, did what Apple did with Xerox and made a GUI system out of nothing. And I was able to find he's a beach volleyball player. Bottle bottom glasses and a beach volleyball player.

Similarly, there are people at these events that want to be social, but don't know how. You have the opportunity to spread the circle wider. I often say I have DES (Darting Eye Syndrome) because I bring someone into the circle, then immediately start looking for the next outlier.

You have to be willing to pause, and inquire about the details. There is an intangible element to it. I always go back to the heart condition. I'm a guy that is changed. I know that if I wasn't captured by a love that is unconditional, I wouldn't know what it would be like to love other people in the same way.

I really believe when you interact with people, you can sense their heart condition. It's like the Hallmark movies. Right away you can tell who has the big heart and is genuine, and who has the wrong motivations in life. And you're wondering why the main character hasn't figured it out yet.

At tryouts, my son was reflecting on the same thing. In an hour and a half, he's commenting about the negative vibes he gets from players that are just trying to show off they are the best. When really the coach is looking to find he players that not only have good skills, but also have great attitudes.

Many great minds are amazing and wonderful. And these could be considered great people. But I believe the true measure of a man is around his heart.