Did I say that?

I was reading from "All Pro Dad" about preparing my boys for manhood. This included a section about becoming a father and starting a family. All things that are visible down the tracks in my household.

But this article struck me because of #2, "Respect." It is something that I feel I have failed on and didn't realize until I've watched it play out in my kids.

I've been a part of several companies and been as high as Vice President. However, I've always reached a limit of sorts, when I encounter the next level up. In each case, I'm not in positional authority and therefore must submit to that authority.

This may sound like every employee complaining about their boss. But to be honest, it isn't. Some people are going to complain if they had to work for a saint like Mother Theresa.

And that is when it hit me. My young adult children have only seen me in my later years, the years where I was near the top. They have seen me struggle against the next level and point out the inconsistencies and alternate solutions. They have heard my heart and desire and how "logical" it all sounds.

That is because I have been used to being able to "vent" with my wife. My wife knows me like none other. She helps recharge me so I can go back in another day and do it again. She knows that my actions at work are consistent to the forgiving and gracious character that I have and display on the outside everywhere I go. Everywhere I go, except home.

So there it is, my kids see my critical side. And as such, haven't learned the grace that we should give others. The Grace that God offers us that we in turn can offer others. Now I wish I could turn back the clock and be more careful about where I discuss my woes. Or that I could show them my actions when I am at work over my criticism about work.

There is the life that I live, and then there are the battles that rage in my head. My home has been the place I let my guard down and I see that was a mistake because of how critical and inconsiderate my kids are towards others. They are fine with the people they like, but not everybody.

As a soccer coach, I tell my players that as much as you feel others pushing, pulling or grabbing at you, your team is pushing, pulling and grabbing at them. It is so easy to see the speck in your friend's eye and completely ignore the plank in your own. And so I write to myself here.

My prayer now is that they learn more about God's grace so they can extend it to others. Plain and simple. And with what time I have left, I hope I can be a better example.

You Can't Win Them All

You can't win them all. That's what struck me when I was reading in Galatians today. In the first chapter, Paul is hounding the people of Galatia saying, "Hey! I told you something miraculous - why are you ignoring it?"

He points out that his life is a changed life. I can't think of one more changed. He was specifically one that attacked Christians, then he is confronted by Jesus Christ himself (note, this is the Jesus Christ that was crucified, but raised from the dead). This confrontation resulted in him receiving a divine revelation that taught him the message that we now call the Gospel.

He went from being a killer of Christians to being a creator of Christians. And given that he had the message directly from Jesus, the resurrected Christ (and not hearsay) it was a pretty direct and compelling message.

I can understand why he would write this letter to these people. He's astonished that they could ignore such an amazing love and call to love. So, sorry Paul, you can't win them all.

But you know what. I've read and heard the story too. I believe it. And I find myself struggling in my day to day to be victorious. Some days, I'm great. others, I struggle. In fact, as a new Christian, I was confronted regularly about things that God says in the Bible that I should apply to my life.

Take swearing. When I was in High School, everybody did it. I grew up in a military family. It was fairly normal in military life. You hear "Bad Words" quite often, but at what point and time did I realize that I didn't have control over it.

For me, I was an adult with four kids. I was playing soccer and someone took me down from behind. I landed on and split my knee cap. As I rolled around on the ground, I was swearing up a storm. That night and into the next week, my mind kept coming back to that. I was put in a cast from my toes to my hip, but what dug into my mind more was not my knee, but the fact that my teammates all knew I was a Christian, and I just went off so bad I could make a sailor blush.

I'm not perfect, but I've gone through more broken bones, car accidents, and heated discussions since that time. My words have changed. I'm more creative. There are more laughs after I "swear" with a Yosemite Sam "Dag-Nabbit!" than if I had said something else.

I can't win them all either. But I have made some huge strides in pushing back the dark side of myself.

What about you? What things (big or small) have you made huge strides in? Perhaps a full 180 like Paul?

Forgiveness Changes You

Do you have something that pops to your mind when you think "Forgive and Forget?"

I usually jump to one of the big hurts in my life and I realize that I'm identifying the hurt first. Second, I remember the people that were involved in causing that hurt.

At no point in thinking about "Forgive & Forget" do I think about the moment I forgave the person that hurt me. And clearly, I'm remembering the issue, not forgetting it. Isn't that weird?

Now consider the opposite side. Have you ever done something that ended up hurting someone else? It may be a surprise to you to find this difficult to bring to mind. "Have I ever been so cruel?"

Ironically, I'm sure we have. By and large, I think people believe the best about themselves. It is hard to think about yourself in a negative way - as in someone that makes a choice to hurt someone else.

Pretty much, I believe most people are good. But that doesn't stop us from messing up and whether intentionally (out of selfish desires) or unintentionally hurting others.

They say holding onto unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

In fact, forgiveness may bring enormous benefits. WebMD says you are likely to enjoy lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and a drop in the stress. You may also feel less back pain, have fewer digestive issues and headaches may become less frequent.

That sounds nice.

Ultimately, when I come back to Forgive and Forget, I really come back to something I've adopted called "replacement theory." That is, I need to replace bad things with good.

In the case of a person that has hurt me, I need to first recognize they may be just like me - not that bad after all. Second, I need to look for positive engagements with them. That is, part of forgiving is replacing the hurt with joy.

This is probably both hardest and easiest with our family. First, these wounds can be the worst. More and more today we are discovering young people with horrific abuse in their past (apologies for bringing this up). But the restoration of those young people to their relatives is the most powerful.

Think of it like being forgiven a debt of $1 so you could buy a coke vs being forgiven the debt owed on your home. It is quite possible you have forgotten to pay back someone some small change it is so insignificant, but how can you pay back someone who pays off your home? That payment is powerful.

My hope is that you can find ways of letting go of hurt and becoming empowered by forgiveness. I know that my life was changed by forgiveness.

I lift my eyes up

We all do it. Every morning we wake up and something addresses us. It may be the dread of a new work day. It may be the joy of our spouse. It may be the uncertainty of a message, phone call or email response we haven't received.

Every day we wake up and we start.

The way each day will look to you all starts with whom you're looking too.

Ultimately, we all pray. When we hear something that someone is going through, we sympathize with them and want to help them, if only we knew how. "I'll pray for you." There is that moment when you are stressed to hear of a horrible accident and we utter the words "Oh God, no! Please no!" Or the times when we are so happy, we can't help but turn our eyes up and say "Thank you."

Somewhere deep inside us, we long to acknowledge that this isn't just chance. We can't reconcile how one glob of goo decided, decided, to be a fish with a glowing orb and another decided a graceful gazelle.

And if we align ourselves with the idea that someone is capable of interceeding in our lives, then each day can look quite different, right from the start.

For me, I know that I'm horrible at prayer. Maybe better than some, but certainly not where I want to be. My goal is to do better, one day at a time. To lift up my family, my friends, my coworkers and those that are against me.

Perhaps the hardest person to pray for is myself.

A Nazarene's Kiss

I wanted to follow up on the last post with making things special again. Last time I commented about my wedding kiss. It was very special. My oldest son is saving his first kiss for his wedding day. That is so cool. 

I only know of one other person that managed to do that. And he said it was incredibly special. Today, I can tell that he and his wife are still head over heals in love with each other. 

But in my case, I had kissed lots of girls. I had even kissed my bride before that amazing wedding kiss. And the same goes for my friend who waited until his wedding day - his wife had kissed lots of boys. But that doesn't mean you can't recapture those special moments.

For me, I took a page from Samson. You may not remember this Bible Story, so I'll let Tim Hawkins expound on it for you. Perhaps you'll remember it has to do with a man who never cut his hair:

This is a parody of Plain White T's song "Hey There Delilah." So - awesome. 

Tim Hawkins has a line, "Oh - I'm a Nazarene."

What exactly does that mean? Well, in the Old Testament a Nazarene would separate themselves from the norm by doing something different, or odd. Many times it would be abstaining from alcohol, or sex, or in Samson's case, cutting his hair. It was a dedication to the Lord. As a result, they seemed to gain favor. Again, blessing may be in many forms, but in Samson's case, it was strength (and I might add, stupidity).

You can do this any time to hit the reset button. For me, I went down the Samson route. 

My wife and I did date in High School and we did kiss our Senior year. But then we parted ways the first year of college. We both dated other people and in the end, we both found our way back to each other. 

However, neither of us were happy about the paths we took during those early years of college. So in order to make our relationship special again we made a decision. In my case, I made a physical decision.

I didn't cut my bangs for a little over two years before my wedding. After we returned from our honeymoon, my wife cut them. It was symbolic of a time we were putting in the past. 

Just so you know, I didn't feel any super powers when we did this. My fiance and I were very close to breaking those commitments many times. It is not as easy as "Don't cut your hair and magically you won't be tempted in any way." It doesn't work like that (or at least it didn't work that way for me). But it is a conscious decision and it helps to keep track of your progress.

Since then, I can say that it helps to keep track of your progress with someone else - an accountability person. That is the person you are going to have to tell when you mess up. 

So, if you want change in your life, make a decision. Make it physical. Make it with one other person. You'll be surprised by the reward at the other end. I know I was.

Finding Focus

My kids like to listen to "music" while they study. Note the quotes around the word "music" implies that I hardly consider it music. To me it is much closer to word vomit. I think they call it "rap" or "hip hop."

But here is what I noticed. Back in grade school and middle school, they could memorize just about anything. Now, they seem to only memorize lyrics and one-liners from movies.

On the positive side, I think I'm blessed because by and large, the "music" they listen to is not popular. It has a good message. And they don't repeat any distasteful things (around my ears).

But then we could go to a restaurant and hear a popular song and wouldn't you know, they quietly mouth the lyrics to those ones too.

I suppose the point is that when we want to learn something, we can. For some reason, the same son that can pick an artist and song out faster than Google cannot figure out how to cook to pizzas in the oven at the same time. He tosses his hands in the air and asks a brother to do it claiming it is too much for him to handle.

If we give up easily on making a pizza, how much more scary is it that we give up on our spiritual lives?

Most motivational speakers (secular or christian) will tell you to focus on your spiritual life. As a Christian, I find truth in the Bible. And my concern is that people don't want to read anything spiritual. They give up. It's too hard. Or perhaps the most common, I didn't like what it said.

Look, being lazy to obtain success only works in Office Space. If you want to find truth, you need to work at it and wrestle with it until you understand it.

Here are some truths I've found.

First, it often requires a teacher. Remember Louis Armstrong's words in What a Wonderful World? We know our kids will know more than us because we pour into them and they expand on it. 

As important as the teacher is, the learner must put in the time. 

Tools can be helpful. When I coach soccer, I use many tools to improve footwork, speed and agility, but the most important tool is the ball.

Practice. Malcolm Gladwell suggested 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to become exceptional in a given field. When it comes to your spiritual life, how long do you want to wait before you become proficient in your core values and what you believe?

The last thing, ironically, maybe more in the spiritual world than other places is peace and quite. It is interesting in the Christian world they call "devotion time with God" "Quiet Time."

Studies show that noise, even relaxing music, causes tension in your brain because it is processing electrical signals from the ear. Silence on the other hand (lack of noise) relaxes that energy. There is profound benefits to silence and meditation.

In my world, the goal is to fill that silence with prayers for others, wisdom and insight for myself.

John 14

Oh-my Back!

This car hasn't moved the entire week of snow here in the Northwest. Needless to say, we have a bit of digging out to do.

As a courtesy and a good home owner, you are supposed to clear your sidewalk. What better thing to do than to use the sidewalk snow to build a nice 48" tall snow fort and snowman.

I'm happy with the results of both the fort and snowman, but there is one thing I'm not happy about. My BACK!

This is one of the joys of getting older. I understand and wish I was in better shape so things like clearing the sidewalk wouldn't hurt so much.

But there is this verse in the Bible that scares me to bits. It basically says in Ephesians that if you honor your parents, it will go well with you and you will enjoy a long life.

Now, there is a part of me that says "Cool!" but there is another part of me that says "My back is going to be mush by that time. How much enjoyment is this going to be?"

Honestly, one of my biggest fears in life is not knowing my family. It is watching my grandmother who has always been on top of everything be completely confused and disoriented as she fights dementia and Alzheimer's.

She has been an absolute joy. But at the same time, she is a shell of the person she used to be.

It seems like a strange fear to have, but for some reason it is very real to me. I cannot shake it. So for today, I pray that I would love those around me. I don't want them to ever doubt that I am for them and that I believe in them. Because someday, they might have to take care of my mushy back and my mushy mind.

True Colors

It seems nothing is hidden anymore. The amount of stuff that can be dug up about any person is amazing.

For instance, I think there is a guy in Virginia right now that is being brought to trial because of a photo in his yearbook that he says isn't even him. (I know this feeling as there is a photo credit of me dancing with a girl in my yearbook that isn't me.)

And I wasn't a fan of the recent issues with people getting called out for their behavior in college. Honestly, I don't agree with the behavior of most college students. But think of how many people you have worked with that were students of the 60's and 70's. The stories I've heard from CEOs and Principle Engineers are hilarious.

Is that who they are now? In the vast majority of cases, no. In some cases, yes.

We just watched Les Miserables with the kids; a non-musical one that tells the story more than the musical. I love the musical, but wanted them to get a clear picture of all that was going on. I asked them what they thought of this one and they "Loved it." All my boys want to see the musical now.

There is something interesting about it. We have a man forgiven, shown love in a fascinating way. He spends the rest of his life showing love to others. At the same time, you have a lawful person. Just that;

"I've spent my whole life trying not to break one single law." - Inspector Javert

Yet in the end, we see the lawful person put on hand cuffs and the law breaker goes free. What is true freedom? Does it mean we are perfect? By no means.

I want people to show their true colors. And when it comes to behavioral issues, I see the heart as being the most important thing. Is it my nature to help someone, or to step on them as I climb to the next rung on the ladder? Am I servant hearted or serve me hearted?

Looking at these past offenses of people, I am only interested in who they are today. I believe that when someone makes a change, we need to help them with that change and not hold the past offenses against them.

I'm not perfect. I do try to obey the laws. I'm very slow to pick up stones to throw at others who may have a jaded past. Ultimately, I think most of us have a jaded past. Which makes forgiveness all the more appealing to me.

He is in the Everyday things

Snow Day(s) in Seattle! I love that that the idea of catching snow on your tongue never really gets old.

It's simple isn't it? The whole world is turning white around you. The sounds all get muffled and for some silly reason, we decide to stick our tongues out and catch a little of that peace.

Of course, it usually hits me in the schnoz or eyeball first.

It's in a moment like this, capturing the moment, that you realize you aren't thinking about that big looming issue in your life; Does he like me? Am I going to pass my test? What about my dying relative? What about my job future?

We have a strange sense of rights - especially in the US. We have a right to have answers or a right to be happy and that right is right now!

But I find that God doesn't care about our constitution or our feelings of entitlement. I find him giving us answers when He feels like it.

In fact, I was reminded that the end game is not to get a bunch of stuff while we are here, but the end game is to get God. Perhaps that is why we are so off the mark when we pray for stuff "a good day, health, etc..."

Really, it would be enough to get to enjoy the small moments, like a sunset, a furry animal, a visit from a friend, a hug, watching a campfire, or snowflakes on the tongue.

I wonder what it will be like when we no longer have to toil for our daily sustenance.

We All Need Forgiveness

I was thinking about this recently as I have been down a very interesting path. I picked the path I'm walking, however, there was a point where I was clearly kicked off my trail.

That point hurt very much as it spoke to several issues in my approach to people. In general, I feel people are "good" and wouldn't intentionally make bad choices if they have all the right information.

In the end, that belief just isn't true. People will make choices that either cause them pleasure or reduce pain in their lives. Logic doesn't necessarily come into play when they make those decisions.

So I've had to walk down this path. Why was I in a position to forgive someone who harmed me? I'll take responsibility for my part. Perhaps it was performance related. Perhaps it was personality. But let me just say I won't sluff all the responsibility to the other party. So step one, I'm owning my part in messing something up (even if it isn't clear to me).

Well, if I'm able to mess up and not know why, then it is possible the other person messed up and they don't know why. Essentially, we may have a communication problem. The only difference being that they are in a position to make decisions that impact me, where I'm not in that position. Allowing for the mistake, I am going to have to commit to let it go and move on.

When I say move on, I'm trying to stop bringing it up. This is interesting to me. Whenever I see someone that has offended me, I think instantly to the impact it had on my life and how it changed the trajectory of me and my family. There are two people that still cause me pain just at the sight of them. Chances are, and we all know this, they are ignorant to the heart ache I'm experiencing.

I'm not sure how to erase those memories or feelings, but that isn't the point or goal. I am simply responsible for forgiving them, not holding it against them, and not talking about them behind their back.

The last part is hard.

Now, it is also clear that we need to get away from people who are abusive. These actions need to be brought to light and stopped. Forgiveness can still happen, but staying in a situation that continues to cause pain is not healthy.

My hope is that you will be able to forgive. We all need it. I'm not perfect. I'm striving to do better and as far as it depends on me, to live in harmony with others. However, I do have a fuse and it does have an endpoint. So I know I need forgiveness. Knowing I need it helps me to realize I need to give it to others.

Colossians 3:13

Blowing up

This weekend should have been awesome. We had two teams in the state tournament that were both projected to do well. I had to work for one of the games. No big deal.

I got there for the majority of the second game where our boys were down by one. They equalized and really should have done better. But it wasn't to be. They lost in a shootout. 

But the good news is the other son went on to win yet another state championship. Woo hoo!

Then there was the Big Game. Of course, I'm tired of the dynamic duo, so I worked on cleaning out my email while looking up only to see if there were any fun commercials. 

At the end of it all, I had a couple rough conversations over the weekend. The first was with my folks. They pressed me on a job situation they know nothing about and then I pressed them on a primary care situation that I'm not qualified to speak about. In the end it was a "tense" discussion with some awkward moments of silence as the other realized there was no budging on this topic.

The second would be with my son who felt compelled to argue about returning an item to the store. The logic is always dumbfounding when you deal with your college kids. 

Oh - and I suppose I failed to mention the wife situation with the kids not supposed to be using the game system, but they were.

While I didn't feel the weekend was particularly bad, what I realized is that I didn't handle any of those conversations the way I should have. And I had to ask, "What's under my skin?"

I find that when something is bothering me, everything is impacted. Victories seem less sweet. Relationships seem stressed, and my voice gets louder despite the fact I have no desire to yell. 

Am I holding something in that I need to give up.

I know I need to be quick to listen to others. I didn't listen well. 

I know I need to be slow to get angry. I wasn't crazy bad, but I was emphatic. 

For me, I'm guessing it is the stress of not having clear direction on the job front. Time is pressing and I'm going to be feeling that pressure more and more as the months pass. I'm praying against the critical nature I have so that I'm not blowing up at the small things - like returning something to the store. 

Is there something you are bottling up and carrying around that might blow at any time? Try to identify it and surrender it. 

Change is on the inside

Michael Jackson wrote a song called "Man in the Mirror" In the chorus he sings: 

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

Today I am challenged by the idea that I have a lot of clutter in my life that keeps me from being effective. Meaning, I get distracted or burdened by something on the inside.

There are times when people get depressed. I've been there. Until you are there, you have no idea what it is like. You can't just snap your fingers and make it go away.

What is equally true is that it is very difficult to be lovable when you are depressed. It is like  compounding interest, it just keeps piling up. People don't want to help you because, well, you are depressing.

The only way out is to make a change inside. It has to be small at first, but then it can grow. You have to stop doing what feeds the negative and start doing what feeds the positive. NO MATTER HOW HARD.

You must be willing to do hard things in order to make changes. 

The beauty is, once you make a change, once you clean out the clutter, once you live a life worth emulating, then you can actually become someone who helps others out of the same trap.

You have enough

Please set aside your feelings about Thomas Edison and his mother and whether or not this story is true. There are plenty of places that you can argue about that. What is true is his mother did teach him and like it or not, he made a significant impact on the culture at the time. What is also true is that he was labeled "addled." 

OK - so what do you expect? The dude was slated to go NOWHERE. And he made a significant splash. How many have you heard "I grew up on the streets..." and now they are a millionaire.

The point to me is that each person has a choice as to what they apply themselves to. I recommend a personal inventory. S.P.I.E.S

Make goals in each of these five categories:

Spiritual. Very few successful people will ignore this aspect of their lives. You shouldn't ignore it either.
Physical. You need to take care of this tent we live in. Your physical condition will impact all other areas of your life. Physical is also working with your world. Accomplishing something you may not think you could do (art, construction, gardening, etc)
Intellectual. This is where you never stop learning. Never stop. You can learn something new every day. Make that in and of itself a goal. But with the internet, you can get nano-degrees within months.
Emotional. You might consider this heart health. It is going to be closely related to how you feel when you wake up. Are you dreading the day or are you looking forward to it.
Social. On the one side, you can think "who am I hanging out with?" But I would encourage you to think "Who needs me to hang out with them?"

As you set goals, here are some things you need to keep in mind
(1) Make them Measurable. Put a quantity on it. For instance, I will write 25 blog posts.
(2) Time Constraint. I will write 25 blog posts this month. Similarly, don't let time be a reason to not do something. For instance, it takes less than a minute to do a set up Push-Ups. You can find a minute before bed to "squeeze it in" and you will be glad you didn't miss your commitment.
(3) Write it down. Check it off. Write it down. Check it off. Write it down. Check it off. ...
(4) Check it, reevaluate and adjust if needed
(5) Repeat.

Habits take about 30 days to form. So you need to stick at it.

Lastly, you have enough. You have been given everything you need to reach your goals. You only need to commit your mind to the task. Who is the greater person in this story? Edison, or his mother?

Sowing, Growing, Reaping. Sowing...

Some days are better than others. Recently, I've been investing in more conversations with my boys. They are at that stage of life where you realize you haven't invested enough and you rapidly start blithering on about all the wisdom you have that they need to make it in life.

But the joy for me recently was having three different conversations with three of them.

First, finding out that one was a leader and someone in the group was feeling left out. He took the time to talk with that person individually, and then with the group, and then was able to integrate the person back into the group. Nice!

Next was one asking about responsibilities related to college expenses. They were trying to balance the idea of living on their own in another state just to gain in-state tuition. Not a bad idea.

The last was the one who realized that he was just like one of the other guys. In fact, all of the other guys. He realized that there wasn't anything that makes him different, more compassionate, more inventive, harder working, more generous, more bold or kind.

He challenged himself create separation from the crowd by sowing seeds of joy wherever he can.

All three of these things are things that I did. And all three of these things are things that I value. At some point, I could assume that I told the boys something along these lines. But who knows which was more significant, my actions or my words.

In any case, I just need to keep Sowing - whatever that looks like. Leave the Growing to God, and let others Reap the benefits. I hope that my life will be multiplied through them.

Leave Your Mark

I burned the obituaries today. That is, when it is cold and we are going to be home, I will start a fire. Today, I happened to pull out the obituary section and without reading a single entry or glancing to see if any of the faces were familiar, I crumpled them up and tossed them into the fire.

Someday, I'm going to be that face on the page and that there is going to be some text under my photo. I had a brief fleeting moment of "what will my obituary say?"

The answer always comes back the same.

"I just want to be known for loving others well."

The first question I have is whether or not I love my family well. Next, it would be did I love Jesus well? (Wow that sounds heavy). But it is the truth.

There are two people inside me all the time. Paul in Romans 7 says "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." - Yup... That's me.

Here's the thing. Most of us have an internal gauge of what right and wrong is. Helping someone is right. Kicking the dog is wrong. Sober people will admit that they seem to get this. But what about being selfish? It makes me happy, so it must be right. Right?

I believe in right and wrong and not a right and wrong that changes with time or culture. But since I can't seem to nail down these things (and honestly don't want to live by a list of right and wrongs) I choose a different path. I just want to love.

Galations 5 says it this way. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

When I am tempted to kick the dog (and believe me, I am), I choose a different action. And that is what is always going on inside me.

We Pray for Comfort

Seven days ago there were more senseless killings. This time it was Christians in Libya. Our Church happened to be talking about the greatest Movement ever to hit the world, the Christian movement. And the topic was also the lovely promise in 2 Timothy 3:12 where it says "In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."

I don't want to jump on the bandwagon and say that these men were killed for their faith - but they were. What is odd is this killing is against what Islam teaches. Their teaching is to allow both Jews and Christians to live - it is only the ones that do not believe in the One God of Abraham that were to be put to the sword.

I don't know what your response is. John Piper says Anger might be a response.

Many Christians in the world today do not know the life-threatening danger that comes with believing in Christ. We have gotten used to being free from such persecution.
Our first reaction to the threat that things might be otherwise is often anger. But that anger may be a sign that we have lost our sense of being aliens and exiles (“Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles . . .” 1 Peter 2:11). 

Perhaps we have settled in too much to this world. We don’t feel as homesick for Christ as Paul did: “But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ” (Philippians 3:20). 

Many of us need the reminder, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12).

I have to admit, part of me is there. And part of me is thinking that if it were not for the way news traveled, I wouldn't care in the least. I'm so far removed from this situation that today will look much like yesterday and tomorrow.

Laura Story sings a song called "Blessings"

When friends betray us - When darkness seems to win, we know - That pain reminds this heart, - That this is not, this is not our home..... It's not our home

What if my greatest disappointments, - Or the aching of this life, - Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy. 

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops - What if Your healing comes through tears - What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near - What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

And here is where I need to be bold enough to pray for more disruption in my life.

The most precious mildew

There is a bag, and in it is some really disgusting stuff. It has mold and mildew and tissue and bleach and all kinds of interesting chemistry stuff going on in there. I haven't opened it in a long time. I'm sort of scared too. Last time I opened it, I was pretty distraught.

It used to be a simple spiral notebook with three subjects. One a little bigger than my Bible. The truth is, I had no intentions of ever keeping a journal. But on a rather frustrating week, my baby brother said he needed a ride to a Bible Study. I was in college and had no desire to sit in on a Jr. High Bible study - but as it turned out, once the speaker started talking, my spiritual life was given a swift kick in the ...

So I HAD to start writing down everything I was hearing. I couldn't believe that this information was in the Bible. So I grabbed a spare college notebook (that was lightly used :) and started writing. It soon collected all kinds of things, notes from the Bible Study became less and less, and my life on its pages became more and more. Soon, I was journaling.

That journal is precious to me. Not only did it have the things I learned, it also had the life experiences I was going through and how God was literally transforming my Christian perspective. Never in my life did I grow more and change more and was challenged more. It was absolutely crazy. Crazy fun.

Today, I have no idea what is in that Journal. The mold and mildew has destroyed most of what was important. See, it was stored in a box on a shared wall in an apartment. The opposite wall was a kitchen, and it sprung a leak and soaked our closet. We noticed the smell before we found the problem. But we did what we could to salvage it and somewhere is an old journal that I love.

In today's world, it is really easy to whip out a tablet (like this Awesome ASUS SL101 that I am using now) and crank out some thoughts. Journaling is so easy. But it isn't as intimate as the hand written journal I once had. My life is slowing down again. I love this. I love taking the time to write out my thoughts on God and what he is doing. But to be honest, I want more. I desire to get back to the days when I was writing out my prayers and logging my day's events and stories.

Perhaps the problem is that we have packed our schedules so tight, we don't want to do anything slow that we could do fast. And I just don't know that we want to rush any relationship. A rushed relationship is not likely to be a good one.

To every season turn turn turn

There is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.

Today I think the message is mostly to Christians; people who are on top of their spiritual game and feel that there should be power in their prayers. But perhaps there isn't. In fact, perhaps prayer time is somewhat boring or feels out of place.

But if you look back on your life, you can identify times when you were faithful and full of life. When the word came alive in you and your prayers were powerful and effective. So the question going through your mind right now is "Why not now?"

This is crazy, but I have the same cycles in other areas of my life. Sometimes I love one salsa, but then I grow tired of it. I still eat it, but with less exuberance than before. If I leave it for a while, try other stuff, and then come back to it, I find my enthusiasm has returned.

Did I just compare my prayer life to salsa? Yes. I'm not saying this is right, but I am saying this is what my life looks like. I don't carry a lot of baggage, I keep short accounts. My conscious is clear and my family life is on solid footing. I typically am looking for service opportunities and I rarely put my needs ahead of the needs of others. And my prayer life, my quiet times, my Bible reading all fluctuate over time - each pulling harder at different times.

For me, I have to continue to pray. I can say I don't care, but I do. I still believe that God answers prayers and I believe that he has my best interests in mind. So I have to pray. I don't often see the results of my prayers, but I believe that some day I will. In 2 Corinthians 5:7 we are reminded that we need to live by faith. And later in that chapter that when we do, we will discover the old self has passed away and the new life has begun. So I press on, in faith, waiting for that incredible flavor that makes me long for more to return.

Hurt of unanswered prayer

We've all heard it. You pray, nothing happens. I've been there. And the hurt is unreal. I can remember one time just balling my eyes out with my buddy. We met regularly to chat about life and hold each other accountable to certain things. He knew what I was going through and then he helped me through the pain.

Ironically, a very similar thing happened, unanswered prayers. This time I wasn't as distraught, I was mad. And since then, my life has altered course.

So here is the official word from your pastor... Sometimes God says "No" to your prayer. Sometimes he says "Not yet." Sometimes he says "Yes" and sometimes he says "Grow!"

We see examples of stupid prayers in the Bible when the disciples wanted to destroy a town by calling down fire from heaven, and Jesus says 'No.' can you imagine that? How many times did they have other requests that weren't recorded that were just as crazy? We have the "let me sit at your right hand!" request, which went no where. So - yeah, sometimes the prayers don't make sense. We won't be able to see that until time passes.

"Not Yet." OK - That's an interesting one. I don't recall a not-yet case in my life. If anything, my example above was a not-yet that got changed to a not-ever. Now I say that with sarcasm. But I'm still a bit disappointed with God on this one (and I fully believe he is big enough to take it).

There is a legitimate argument here. For instance, when I sit at a computer, I like my area to be clean. I know what dust and dirt do to the keys and parts. But here comes my dog. He wants for all the world to be scratched. Do I do it? Not yet.

Then, there is the time when my dog comes to me rather withdrawn. In fact, I may just catch him wondering around in the hallway and he starts to get excited to see me, but then he stops and tucks in his tail. "What?" I ask... and yet I know. Somewhere in my house a new object (or a favorite object) has just been christened with the one leg salute. He isn't going to get anything from me until we have reconciled that situation.

Well, that's the GROW part for me. I'm mad. I honestly don't know if God is saying "No. Not Yet. or Grow." And since I don't know, all I can do is run to introspection and self evaluation. I can only hope to grow from this. Perhaps there is something that I've done wrong (peed on the carpet type thing) that I need to correct. That is very likely the case.

But honestly, this is where grace comes in. I know I'm a sinner. So I don't expect to have a clean slate any day of the week. So I'll pray, and I need to pray for grace as well.

Couple key thoughts

Sometimes I feel too chill. That is too relaxed. Perhaps I have an intellectual faith. There are those survey questions out there that ask how you respond in difficult situations. My history has shown that I laugh a lot. I'll say things like "Wow! This is really bad! Can you believe this? Wonder how we are going to get out of this one."

And yet here I am, the world continues to roll despite my greatest crisis. You could say that this is the result of a good world view. Sure. It's just that my world view is based on an eternal view. I've said it before, that I believe our time here on earth is but a vapor on the waves. Here for a moment, then gone. I've also said that I believe the spiritual world to be more real than the physical world.

OK Where am I going? Well, the emphasis over the last week or so has been on Prayer. And one of the lessons of prayer is to not look at the problem, but the problem solver. 

Think about it. Remember as a kid, working on a math problem and having no clue what to do? No matter how long you stare at the numbers, nothing makes sense. However, when you turn to the teacher and ask for help, you can finally make progress. 

I find most of my problems are this way. I don't know the way forward in a relationship. I don't know the best way to resolve a conflict. I don't know the best way to prepare for a presentation. That's when I look up and ask God for help. And I trust that no matter what happens, He put the words in my mouth at the moment I needed to say them to make things happen.

The second thing that is important is to press on through. Just like above, I look at the problems, I seek help, and I dive in. I'll pull resources that I think can help. I'll motivate people I think need motivation. I'll use all the gifts that God has given me to attack the problem. I don't just sit there and say "Well everyone, I prayed. Give it a couple minutes and it will all work out."

The end result for me is feeling like "Whew! We made it through!" But what is weird is that people look back at me and say "Yeah - you did a great job!" And I have no idea what they are talking about. For me, it is easy then to put those prayers of thanks back up to God.

The Bible says that faith and works go hand in hand. Sometimes, God parts the waters. But sometimes we have to do our part. I'm sure that the story of David and Goliath would have been omitted from the Bible had God chosen to just give Goliath a heart attack. Instead, David had to go into battle and use the tools he had - which weren't much. He had to press into the problem, but surely God did the rest.

So, perhaps I am to casual with my faith. I do believe that God will work it out. That takes a heap of burden off of me.

1 Samuel 17:45-49

David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell face down on the ground.