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It's pretty cool seeing God work in his life as we have had very similar calls to leave our secular vocations or find vocations that allow us to do the ministry while not forsaking our large families. He is probably closer than I am right now. But who can tell?
There has been some turbulence in my life recently. I've finished my book on prayer and started a new one about spiritual renewal. One of the last pieces I've been sorting through offline was dealing with prayer blockers. The one that I think struck me on the forehead was the need to be reconciled with your brother before you spend any time at the alter in prayer.
At the same time, God was working on my wife. She and I were in different places when we were both compelled to initiate these steps of reconciliation. And so we have.
Take this note... My wife and I are very patient. You could say we are good at long suffering. Some might joke that we are the most inefficient couple on the planet. But one thing we have learned is that God moves us into unity - and from this we are able to move forward confidently. So, we know that we have some work to do in this area.
Can I just say this little nudge to both of us was unwelcome? This is perhaps one of those annoying things about God. His timing is almost never my timing.
See, last year, I would have been open to doing whatever God wants me to do vocationally. But now, I feel I'm in a place of hurt. I have a lot of bitterness in my life. My standard mode of operation is to forgive people that hurt me and go introspective on myself to figure out what I did wrong. My self analysis usually takes me down several notches while the external results contradict such notions of inadequacy. But all the while I know that all the results no matter how positive are not a reflection of what I did, but what God did in others. And any negative results only show my incompetence.
At the same time, I think I have a bead on the next thing for me. I need time to train and not be hindered. I also need to finish some work around the house. All of which doesn't fit the schedule of a (new) full time employee.
So yeah. I hate it when God does this. Being obedient is never an easy choice.
