Where are we going?

I want you to think. You've heard stories about your parents getting grounded or maybe even getting spankings. But go back a generation and they were giving spankings in schools - with paddles. And go back again I remember my grandparents having to cut their own branch from a willow tree to come back in and "git a likin'."

There were TV shows of adults hauling kids by their ears to and fro. Discipline was a part of every day life. It was expected and it made us wiser, stronger, and better for it.

Today, we have learned to be "patient." There is a better way to teach our children, letting them explore the world around them and discover what works and what doesn't work.

What I see is a decline from the Greatest Generation - those that lived through the Great Depression. Those that endured and fought in World War II to this new generation, they feel they are "entitled." OMG like, the new iPhone is coming out. I'm going to get my camping gear ready.

It is a changing world. So where does patience and acceptance come into play?

I fear that we have become soft. Where is the heart of America - the farm workers? Factory workers? Many have been moved overseas. Jobs that could be done cheaper somewhere else are being done somewhere else. Now those jobs seem below us. But they weren't below our grandparents. Those people I look up to with such esteem.

Patiently, I raise my kids and can only wonder how to instill in them the work ethic of my parents and grandparents. Hopefully, they see the opportunity before them is not something to be taken for granted.

Giving til you love

Today's reading was from Philippians and it took me to a couple places.

First, we are all different. We have different hopes and desires. Booker T Washington said "There is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem." 

Which simply means, you may work with your hands or your minds. but in both cases, I would suggest doing it "unto the Lord." 

The verse accompanying the reading was Philippians 3:14, I press on toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Jesus Christ.

Which led to this verse from Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Mind the gap (jump from platform to train)

Every marriage is a union of two selfish people who both naturally want to "do it my way." Did you know your mom and I have had to have conversations about how to fold towels and how to hang shirts? You may have heard us say "Don't compromise, but rather be happy knowing the other is happy."

In that statement, you are yielding your own desires for the other person's desires and finding joy in their perspective - giving them dignity and value in their choice (to work with their hands {tilling} vs voice {poem}).

How does this play out in dating? Give. Give without any thought of getting anything in return. Some people will absorb your giving. Some people will give it back. 

Give where you can. Again, if you have words, use words. If you have hands, use hands. If you have money, use gifts. Give what God has given to you.

The thing is, this applies not only to dating but to everything. That's why dating should be easy. It doesn't matter if it is your best friend or your least favorite. In fact, the Message puts it this way: “I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

You enemies. So how much more should you give to someone you are treating out for an afternoon/evening. Like I said, giving doesn't have to be STUFF, it can be time, energy, conversation. But you have to be the giver.

Think about it.

Family/Marriage Inventory

This was too good to pass up. Read a blog by Andrew Linder today. In it he said:

“To be successful, you need to know what makes her tick, and you also need to know what ticks her off.”

Click Here for the full article.