Keeping an open mind

The idea is simply this. God has a plan. The enemy has permission to taunt and thwart us.

I may be running down a path when the way gets difficult. Perhaps it is like running a tough mudder. There are obstacles and stuff slowing me down and making me want to quit.

This is NOT a sign that I'm on the wrong path. In fact, I would wonder just what kind of tough mudder was so easy to get through.

Anyway, I need to consider that conflict in the journey is not necessarily a bad thing.

Reflecting on my Love for God

At present, I'm still living in His grace. That is to say that I'm mighty frustrated with God on account of watching non-christian people achieve huge successes (as concerned by my standards) and meanwhile I'm sort of squandering on the side. Why he doesn't just put me under His thumb and squash me is only grace.

I find that nothing makes me more alive than working with High Schoolers. The other night, we had both a High School and Jr. High group over. I walked into the Jr. High group and was simply uninspired to do anything. I walk into the High School group and I can feel my pulse quicken and conversation leap to life. I chased talkative students into corners while pulling the quiet ones out.

It's just who I am, I'm largely frustrated with God because I would love to be in ministry for/to/with this demographic. Twice he has brought me to the doorstep of opportunity and twice he didn't just not answer the door, he opened it and then he slammed it in my face. Twice. (Remember, only a friend can betray a friend).

This has me all flummoxed. What does he want me to do with this passion and drive inside? The first time it happened it took quite a bit of time before I even considered getting back in the ring. This time?

So here I am, wanting to do "good" for God and I get rejected - dare I say, by Him.

CS Lewis writes in Mere Christianity that there is God's love for man, and then there is man's love for God. The second is the curious one because I don't feel much in love with the big guy (as you might be able to surmise why if you've followed my blog). But he proposes that we should act like it and not try to manufacture the feelings.

In truth, I feel this way about my family on any given day/moment. How do I know I love my wife? Because I know I want to spend my life making her happy. However, when she does something to frustrate me - I find myself not feeling very loving. I can't just flip a switch and get all lovey dovey. However, sometime in the next 24 hours, I'm sure I can feel all lovey dovey and ba-dow!

OK forgive me. But the point stands. Mending a relationship with God is difficult. It feels very one sided and time moves much slower. So I'm in the repair stages. I don't FEEL like loving Him, but I will continue to because of the first point Lewis makes; God's love for man.

While my feelings are not consistent, God's love is. For some reason, he doesn't smite me when I rebel in any way. He isn't bothered by my incredulousness. He is patient with me - more than I can ever be. I know this. But I can't help but be frustrated with how he shows his love for me.

See, I don't want Jesus to die on the cross for me, I want him to provide a comfortable life for me. Then it will be easy for me to get back in the saddle and do whatever he calls me to do....

Why doesn't God do what I want!? Why can't I be master of the universe?!

Thoughts on making spiritual progress

I have a pretty old dog now. By that I mean in dog years he is older than me :). You would think that would mean he is pretty smart, but in reality, he is just as silly as when we first got him when it comes to going for walks. Know what I mean? Here comes a mail box or light post. What does the dog do? He runs ahead, checks it out, leaves his mark, and then goes to the opposite side of the pole from me. He might even run all the way around it again - in the wrong direction! Then he wonders why we have stopped walking.

Why is it that the dog looks at me like it is my fault? Why after so many years can't he figure out what he needs to do to move on?

Well, that is the point when it comes to spiritual matters. I wonder if I'm at an impasse with my spiritual life. I'm looking to God to make things right when all the time it is me that has messed things up.

Have I been tied up like this before? Do I know the way out? I don't know and I don't like it. But I'll be willing to entertain the idea.

My fears on display

Here I am, a Christian. I am not too proud to admit that I have issues with God. I don't understand why he would pick both Moses and Saul/Paul (both murderers) to do some of his greatest declarative work. Me? I'm like the rich young ruler, I am like the seed among the thorns,

I don't know what God wants with me and I don't know what he wants for me. In theory, I am loved by him and my heart longs to sing his praises. But theory is currently out the window. I don't like God much at all right now.

Here is my real fear

The Lord searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts. 

—1 Chronicles 28:9

What if I don't even know myself? 

I'm watching my grandmother go through Dementia/Alzheimers right now. I've had a bad memory as long as I can remember. It isn't that I don't know where my car keys are kind of thing, it is more of I don't remember being the catalyst for my best friend's surprise birthday party. I don't remember fixing code I already fixed. I don't remember entire events and times of my life. They are gone. 

And so as I look at a very real trajectory that in 20 years (if I'm still around) I could be spouting something from the deep, dark recesses of my soul to people I don't know or to my own children and wife, what will come out?

Do I really believe? Will Jesus be my best friend and stand by me in that time - or will he let the Devil work his schemes through my lips. Will I be one of those angry and annoying patients that they stick in the back hallways behind locked doors?

My only consolation is that there are times when I don't like my family much at all. I can say that of my wife and children, of my parents and brothers. But this doesn't stop them from being family. And in the end, I will do whatever I can for any of them because I love them as family.

God uses the word Adoption in the Bible to describe how we become his children. Once adopted, we are His. So I can let my fears go and say "God, what you do with me and how you do it is completely up to you." 

So let this be my apology in advance to my family and friends. If I turn out to be a disgruntled vegetable when I get old, I'm sorry.  Pray for me, that God would see fit to cut away the weeds.

The impotent gospel

Frustration wells up in me. Here we are in a modern America where we have produced the most lame standards, the most uncreative and unproductive society America has ever known. As I sit around a group of adults discussing the woes of raising our children, we are all reminded of these important verses and admonishments from the Bible:

• A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. —Proverbs 15:1
• Jesus fulfilled the prophetic words of Isaiah, “He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth” Isaiah 53:7

And we are not to strike our children lest we get dragged out into public and told this is child abuse. We are to turn the other cheek and continue to extend grace and forgiveness. A small comment can start a large fight. When we, by God’s grace, choose not to retaliate with our words, we honor Jesus our Savior. So basically - good luck finding a way to guide and direct your child because you can't touch them and you can't yell at them.

Do we forget that Jesus also created a whip and drove out the money changers? Do we forget that he also challenged the people in authority? Jesus did use force when needed.

I have four boys and I have four different personalities in my house. If I think that simply telling them one time is going to get the action I want, I'm deceived! Only one of my four boys will take action on the first ask. And it won't be the same one every time.

When we look back and we see heros - real heros, every day americans going out to serve their country in battle we find that the proverbs were at work in their parents:

• He that spares the rod, hates his son, but he that loves him, disciplines him diligently
• Discipline your son while there is hope
• Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it from him
• Do no withhold correction from the child, if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him, and save him from death
• A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.

And in Hebrews 12, we are reminded that "...the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?"

I can't remember the last time I spanked one of my children, and I'm trying desperately to uninstall the "malware, Lecture 1.0" from my hard drive. This leaves me resorting to pleading with my children "PLEASE, don't make bad decisions. PLEASE, think about what you just said and tell me how that is uplifting to those who heard it. PLEASE think of others before yourself. PLEASE... PLEASE... PLEASE."

I feel impotent to direct the path of my kids. I'm not sure this is healthy.

Thanks GrandDad

My dad recently came across his father's journal from late High School and early college. My dad suggested that there we're gaps that made the journal interesting reading - but totally left you hanging.

I'm at the point of wanting to put more in writing just so my kids can see. There is also a part of me that is scared. I'm watching my grandmother walk through dementia. My mom is equally scared - and I've never had a good memory, so I'm really scared. I don't know how much longer I will have these memories. So perhaps I get more in here than I expect. But thanks goes to GrandDad for writing and for Dad for inspiring.

I've been working on trying to use the stock market to earn a daily income. I've been down this path before. In fact, the first time I tried this was probably over 10 years ago. In that time frame, I've taken two solid runs at it. This is the third time I've tried. The joke is that all three times I started, the market was going up. I got confidence quickly and then the market completely fell out and I ran away. This time, as the market is falling out, I'm doing OK. It is mostly because I don't have any other options. I have to make this work or I will be looking for another JOB.

My current plan is to trade the first hour of the morning... That's about 6:30am to 7:30am. So there is discipline in getting to bed and getting up.

There are other things I'm trying in the waking hours of the day. I have three devotional guides coming to me. One is "Our Daily Bread" another is from John Piper, another is from CS Lewis. Lastly, If these are not inspiring, I read a chapter from the Bible. Right now I happen to be in 2 Corinthians. The last thing I did was pick up a 153 hours of John Piper going through the book of Romans. I've listened to the first hour and my summary is:

• For God, praise is the sweet echo of his own excellence in the hearts of his people.
• For us, praise is the summit of satisfaction that comes from living in fellowship with God.

To speak to the heart of where I am with God right now, I have little praise. I feel like the neighbor who looks out his window and sees all the neighbors having a party. The neighbor throwing the party knows whom they will choose to come to the party, and I'm just not one of them. Sure, I'm his "friend," But I'm obviously not one of the "cool" guys.

So - I'm doing a lot of self examination and trying to figure out what's next. But hope springs eternal. I'm still looking in my mailbox for an invitation to something new.

The Middle Ages

I'm not talking about some feudal society in Medieval times. Although, Feudal (a 3M Bookshelf game) is one of my favorite games.

No - today I'm talking about this time of life. My middle ages. I worked a successful job for 15 years and was really just done .Why? Well it was a small company without a lot of upward potential for me. I could have continued on and received a pay check month after month - but that's just not where it is for me.

My wife put it this way; as we examined all the things that we did in our week, we found that the thing with the least amount of purpose was the J.O.B. This thing sucked up more time than everything else and was failing to provide anything except the monthly income.

Is purpose all that important that I would throw away such an "easy income" in a good work situation? Apparently, yes.

CS Lewis wrote in the Screwtape letters that one of the ways to beat down Christians and make them ineffective is to use time decay and simply wear down the soul by attrition. What's worse, he suggests, is that if we are successful, we end up knitting our hearts to success and neglect the things that we once cared about (a spouse, our kids, etc). And we completely forget about the One who created us.

I think we also reach a point of saying "I've been around the block and I can do it better than the old block head above me." I've experienced this in my coaching career - as I had an evaluator/coach who came from the school of "Run them till they vomit" tell me I didn't make the cut. This after a dozen of my peers gave me solid props for a good session.

It is hard to "feel" God in these doldrums. It is hard to want to give him praise for mediocrity in my life. It is hard to be faithful when you don't feel God has been faithful.

What I find is that I'm at odds with God's timing and his justice. Theologically, I know I should be grateful for life after death - that His invitation, the gift to be in Heaven is all I need. And Theologically, I am content with this. But what I don't understand is why he would have me suffer emotionally through this time of life while others find success and do nothing to acknowledge His sovereign hand.

Yeah. I've been around the block and I suffer with the idea that I could do it better than the divine block head that breathed life into me. He knows my heart and I know his Word. We are at odds while I try to move out of my middle ages into the next great adventure.

Beautiful and Warm

There are certain things that can give us pause. They take our breath away, so to speak. For instance, have you ever watched the sunset on a mountain plain with the wild flowers apparently changing colors like the clouds and mountain snow above them? What about the perfect wave in the ocean, crystal clear water on a turquoise backdrop? Have you ever been struck just watching a child play? Or a potter at their craft? There are times when I can just stare at my wife and I know I'm happy inside.

I have this sense that when I look at creation and even the things that man has accomplished that I'm only seeing a glimpse of something even more spectacular. Remember, in the 1930's they were considering closing the patent offices because we couldn't possibly find that much more stuff to patent - whoa how far we've come in a century!

If God can spin this world into orbit just so that we could survive, and if he could set not only our solar system and our galaxy in order, but also the millions upon millions of other galaxies - I imagine, when we get to that moment of knowing Him more fully, that we will be struck with something more breathtaking and beautiful than a sunset on the plains.

All that to give myself a little context when I read from Philippians 3:1:

Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord.

A tale of two Newtons

It was a weird morning when my kids were working on their studies and talking about Sir Isaac Newton. He gets a couple knocks on the head and comes up with three laws of physics. Can you name them? He is perhaps one of the most well known scientists ever. You'll note that as sharp as modern people may say Einstein was, they didn't name any measurements after him (like a Tesla or a Newton).

So naturally, I found Lego stop motion videos and Epic Rap battles of History and felt I now know everything that Newton discovered in a couple minutes.

Since this is my spiritual blog, we should mention that Newton studied the Bible quite a bit. In it, he noted a couple things. First, the end of the world won't happen until at least 2060. See, he was into the chronology of the Bible. I don't know if he was trying to prove the age of the Earth or disprove the end of the world arguments that seem to come out in every generation. The Bible says - no one knows the time of the end of the age except God. Newton was not saying that 2060 was the year - but that he believed he would not be alive on Earth to see it.

Second, on creation, he was quick to point out that there is no way that all of this came together by chance. I don't think that the "Intelligent Design" argument was really required in his day - but we can say he was an early adopter.

Then, the devotional I read started talking about Newton. It said he was dismissed from the Navy for dissent and insubordination, he became a slave trader, a murder, he did indescribable things to women and children. In short - he was a dirty man.

If you are wondering where this all came from, the change was just as weird for me, It was John Newton I was reading about - not Isaac Newton.

So - who is John Newton? Well, it is said that as had a near death experience, called out to God, and he had a conversion experience. He was still a slave trader, but as he recalled the sorrowful negro chants that came up from below decks, he penned a song that is equally as famous as Newton's laws of motion... Amazing Grace.

In the end, Newton and William Wilberforce worked to end slavery through England. He became a priest and lived a life of solitude.

This week, I was reminded of CS Lewis when confronted by his contemporaries about what makes Christianity so unique from other religions. It wasn't the creation story, one God, resurrection from the dead, wars, end times, none of that. He said "Oh, that's an easy question. The answer is GRACE."

Christianity is the only religion where there is nothing we can do to make God love us any more or any less. He extends GRACE and forgiveness. All we have to do is say "Yes."

Testing my will

I'm a talker. Worse than that, I'm a lecturer. Today I read this verse:

Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. - James 1:19

As a result, I'm going to resolve to NOT lecture my children. Instead, I'm going to ask a thoughtful question that enables them to come to the conclusion themselves. Essentially, I'm going to fight to say all I have to say in one minute or less.

I'm NOT going to lecture my soccer team. I'm going to ask the questions that they know the answers to and clarify when they ask questions back.

If I come up with more areas, I'll add them to this list - but these two things seem to frustrate me (and turn me into monster lecture man) more than anything else.

In order to help me with this, I'm going to set an alarm for every 4 hours. That way when the alarm goes off, it will reiterate the commitment in my mind. I'll keep this up until it becomes a habit.

A wise old owl sat in an oak;

The more he saw the less he spoke;

The less he spoke the more he heard;

Why can’t we all be like that wise old bird?

- anonymous

Whistle while you work, and listen for his voice

I will whistle for them and gather them, for I will redeem them. —Zechariah 10:8

I read this and was instantly reminded of this video. :)

Misleading voices and distracting noises still compete for our attention (cf. Zech. 10:2). Yet God has ways of signaling us, even without words. By events that can be alarming or encouraging, He reminds us of His guiding, protecting, and reassuring presence. —Mart DeHaan

Lifting directly from CS Lewis

Two thoughts on God

As a great Christian writer (George MacDonald) pointed out, every father is pleased at the baby’s first attempt to walk: no father would be satisfied with anything less than a firm, free, manly walk in a grown-up son. In the same way, he said, “God is easy to please, but hard to satisfy.”

I think every one who has some vague belief in God, until he becomes a Christian, has the idea of an exam or of a bargain in his mind. The first result of real Christianity is to blow that idea into bits. When they find it blown into bits, some people think this means that Christianity is a failure and give up. They seem to imagine that God is very simple-minded! In fact, of course, He knows all about this. One of the very things Christianity was designed to do was to blow this idea to bits. God has been waiting for the moment at which you discover that there is no question of earning a pass mark in this exam or putting Him in your debt.

Then comes another discovery. Every faculty you have, your power of thinking or of moving your limbs from moment to moment, is given you by God. If you devoted every moment of your whole life exclusively to His service you could not give Him anything that was not in a sense His own already. So that when we talk of a man doing anything for God or giving anything to God, I will tell you what it is really like. 

It is like a small child going to his father and saying, “Daddy, give me sixpence to buy you a birthday present.” Of course, the father does, and he is pleased with the child’s present. It is all very nice and proper, but only an idiot would think that the father is sixpence to the good on the transaction. When a man has made these two discoveries God can really get to work. It is after this that real life begins.

From Mere Christianity

Reasoning with the unborn

I've often been challenged by the idea of being "born again" or whatever the lingo is. In fact, I am challenged by many of the things in the Bible. I have a hard time reconciling all the issues inside and the apparent contradictions.

But then I think about my time as a pre-natal fetus. If someone had the ability to talk to me in the womb, they would tell me about this great love of a mother on the outside. They would tell me about incredible colors, sites, sounds, textures and things that quite frankly are unimaginable.

"It sounds impossible."  I would reason. "For one, you say I'll taste food with texture. How can that be? I just ingest food. And you say there is somebody that loves me? How can they even know me? I've never seen them."

I could argue that my life is perfect just the way it is. I have all I want.

But in the end, all my reasoning kind of falls flat. I wouldn't want to miss this world for a embryonic existence. Would you?

I believe that when we get to the other side, all our ideas and reasons for thinking God is impossible will disappear. CS Lewis puts it this way:

Heaven will solve our problems, but not, I think, by showing us subtle reconciliations between all our apparently contradictory notions. The notions will all be knocked from under our feet. We shall see that there never was any problem.
Who can tell? But unless we take Pascal's wager, we stand the risk of missing the greatest party of all time.

Unless a seed dies - it remains just a seed. But when it dies, it is transformed into something far more than it ever was before.

Being Childlike, in a good way :)

I'm struck over and over again by how simple life is supposed to be. If we consider the Garden of Eden as the starting place (a leap of faith I will grant you), then you will see we didn't have to work the land for food, and we were able to interact peacefully with nature and God.

Then the fall. And from that moment on, we see strife.

Fast forward to the new testament when Jesus shows up on the scene. Those closest to him start trying to figure out their standing with Jesus in Matthew 18. Jesus replies in action and word:

He [Jesus] called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

It is supposed to be simple. Just believe, help and serve each other the way that we want to be helped and served. God's economy is upside down compared to how I typically view my situation. But what can I do but continue to work on myself? 

You've probably heard about the last supper Jesus ate before he was betrayed by one of these 12 disciples. Many churches call it communion. But at this supper, Jesus takes the position of a lowly servant and washes the feet of his disciples - even the one that betrayed him. 

He wants us to be humble. James 4;10 reminds us to be humble and He will lift us up. 

Excerpts from “If” by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
  Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
  But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
  If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
  And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
  To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
  Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
  With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
  And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Excerpts from “If” by Rudyard Kipling

Base your life on this

The god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. (2 Corinthians 4:4)

Test yourself. What is your mindset? Do you begin with God and his rights and goals? Or do you begin with yourself and your rights and wishes?

And when you look at the death of Christ, what happens? Does your joy really come from translating this awesome divine work into a boost for self-esteem? Or are you drawn up out of yourself and filled with wonder and reverence and worship that here in the death of Jesus is the deepest, clearest declaration of the infinite esteem of God for his glory and for his Son?

Here is a great objective foundation for the full assurance of hope: the forgiveness of sins is grounded, finally, not in my finite worth or work, but in the infinite worth of the righteousness of God — God's unswerving allegiance to uphold and vindicate the glory of his name.

I appeal to you with all my heart, take your stand on this. Base your life on this. Ground your hope in this. You will be free from the futile mindset of the world. And you will never fall.

When God's exaltation of God in Christ is your joy, it can never fail.

For more about John Piper's ministry and writing, see DesiringGod.org.

This came in today and I thought it was simply worth the repost.

Sombody's watching me

I read from 1 Peter 2 today. A couple things struck me.

There is this theme that people are watching you. Well - they are. I remember in management class being told that the managers, directors, and big heads in the room always have eyes on them. Their employees are looking at them to see how they respond to news (both good and bad). How they respond helps set the tone for the room and how the news is received in general.

I am an extremely passionate extrovert. I blurt out emotions at movies, I explode with rage when there is injustice to my family or friends, I love from the heart, I sing off key and dance without rhythm.

So - Peter starts off with the recommendation to crave spiritual milk. I never thought about this in terms of a baby entering life. They could care less about the riches and passions of this world. All they want is sustaining goodness. Later, Peter reminds us not to chase the riches and passions of this world. He says it wages war inside us. Rather, we should live upright lives so that any accusation brought against us would not stand.

"Live upright lives." What does that mean? Well, that is the trick isn't it. I go back to Galations 5:22-23, which says that against love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control, there is no law.

Therefore, I need to continue to be passionate about the things that demonstrate goodness, but I also need to be more patient and self controlled when someone calls a foul on my kid on the soccer field.

Because, people are watching and they need to know that God is working on me.

K.I.S.S.

Recently our pastor has been talking about many Jewish traditions and symbols. One is the Mezuzah (ma-zoo-za). It is a little canister that you put on the door frame of your house. In it is a scroll with the "Shema" which is a quote from Deuteronomy 6:
"Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

When Jesus comes to Earth we find that he is loving toward the people with heavy burdens, and has difficult words for the scribes and teachers. When one asks him to define the most important law, Jesus comes back to the Mezuzah & Shema in Mark 12:
Jesus responded, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these” 

Sometimes I get the feeling that non-christians don't want to be christians because of the burdens of do's and don'ts. The truth is, living as a christian is the way we really want to live. Really - love others as you love yourself. 

Keep it simple.

The potter and the clay

Jeremiah 18

God was showing Jeremiah that Israel could be used for any purpose he wanted. 

Similarlly, 15 years of Youth Ministry may be a thing of the past for me. I wonder if God is reshaping me now.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Thou art the Potter, I am the clay;
Mold me and make me after Thy will,
While I am waiting, yielded and still. —Pollard

City of Refuge

If you have been around the Bible a little, you might have asked the question about the war monger God of the Old Testament and the peaceful God of the New Testament and wondered if we are talking about the same God.

The truth is that God had/has a plan all along. Interestingly enough, in the Old Testament we see the nature of God in the Garden of Eden, and even in the law. He even has these places where people can go to be "safe" from a crime they may have committed (Numbers 35).

In other words, judgement does come - make no mistake, but God is preserving a place for us should we want to make peace. There is a city of refuge we can run to. There is a person that wants to forgive us and welcome us. It is the God in the garden, it is the God of the New Testament.

Anyway, he is there.

Invitation for the thirsty

“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.


Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

Isaiah 55:1-7

Let us love each other

One of the most difficult things about being a believer or even a non-believer is the question of motivation. In the Christian sense, we love because God is love, he teaches us to love, and because he first loved us. In the non-christian sense, I don't know - maybe it's just the American thing to do.

This is always the big question for me. I hang out with people all the time who are completely centered on satisfying their desires. They talk about money, women (yeah the negative side of this), cars, boats, expensive foods, etc... And why not? It is their right to chase these things.

And am I surprised when they get all mad about one thing or another? Not really. It seems their nature to take what is given and complain about the rest. We all know people like this. Why are there such vast differences between this type of person and a more compassionate non-God fearing person? I don't know.

But here is what I do know. This verse from 1 John 4:7 suggests that everyone that loves does know God. Interesting if you are a non-believer and are reading this ...

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. —1 John 4:7

Coming in fear, coming for healing

There was a time when God apparently brought his awesome self into the world and was very near to people. There was the time before the fall (walking with Adam) and after the fall (walking with the Israelites).

Before, all was well and they could talk and interact without fear, but once "sin" entered the world, being close to God was dangerous. The Bible talks about people that die because they don't follow his instructions carefully. So even doing what seems right in their eyes (adding another smoke offering or trying to keep the ark of the covenant from tipping over) led to death.

As a result, people feared approaching God.

Then, Jesus comes - God in the flesh. A baby, a boy, a man. Someone like you and me who teaches us how we were supposed to live. Not only did people not fear coming to Jesus, they flocked to Him. And instead of being killed for touching him, they were healed.

So, it seems that Jesus is the "safe" way to God.

The Bible says that when we accept Jesus, he becomes the mediator between God and us. Well, it certainly worked when he was walking around Israel all those years ago. I believe it works today.

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Restorations done right.

Just my thought for the day

Colossians 3:10 - God is renewing us like a artisan restores an original masterpiece. We were wrecked with sin, were saved, and are now being made new again.

There are some horrible restorations out there.



But the one being done in us will not turn out glorious

Props to my buddy

I have a long time friend that used to blog with me on another site. He is now with WordPress:
http://mcleanjones.wordpress.com

It's pretty cool seeing God work in his life as we have had very similar calls to leave our secular vocations or find vocations that allow us to do the ministry while not forsaking our large families. He is probably closer than I am right now. But who can tell?

There has been some turbulence in my life recently. I've finished my book on prayer and started a new one about spiritual renewal. One of the last pieces I've been sorting through offline was dealing with prayer blockers. The one that I think struck me on the forehead was the need to be reconciled with your brother before you spend any time at the alter in prayer.

At the same time, God was working on my wife. She and I were in different places when we were both compelled to initiate these steps of reconciliation. And so we have.

Take this note... My wife and I are very patient. You could say we are good at long suffering. Some might joke that we are the most inefficient couple on the planet. But one thing we have learned is that God moves us into unity - and from this we are able to move forward confidently. So, we know that we have some work to do in this area. 

Can I just say this little nudge to both of us was unwelcome? This is perhaps one of those annoying things about God. His timing is almost never my timing. 

See, last year, I would have been open to doing whatever God wants me to do vocationally. But now, I feel I'm in a place of hurt. I have a lot of bitterness in my life. My standard mode of operation is to forgive people that hurt me and go introspective on myself to figure out what I did wrong. My self analysis usually takes me down several notches while the external results contradict such notions of inadequacy. But all the while I know that all the results no matter how positive are not a reflection of what I did, but what God did in others. And any negative results only show my incompetence. 

At the same time, I think I have a bead on the next thing for me. I need time to train and not be hindered. I also need to finish some work around the house. All of which doesn't fit the schedule of a (new) full time employee.

So yeah. I hate it when God does this. Being obedient is never an easy choice. 

The most precious mildew

There is a bag, and in it is some really disgusting stuff. It has mold and mildew and tissue and bleach and all kinds of interesting chemistry stuff going on in there. I haven't opened it in a long time. I'm sort of scared too. Last time I opened it, I was pretty distraught.

It used to be a simple spiral notebook with three subjects. One a little bigger than my Bible. The truth is, I had no intentions of ever keeping a journal. But on a rather frustrating week, my baby brother said he needed a ride to a Bible Study. I was in college and had no desire to sit in on a Jr. High Bible study - but as it turned out, once the speaker started talking, my spiritual life was given a swift kick in the ...

So I HAD to start writing down everything I was hearing. I couldn't believe that this information was in the Bible. So I grabbed a spare college notebook (that was lightly used :) and started writing. It soon collected all kinds of things, notes from the Bible Study became less and less, and my life on its pages became more and more. Soon, I was journaling.

That journal is precious to me. Not only did it have the things I learned, it also had the life experiences I was going through and how God was literally transforming my Christian perspective. Never in my life did I grow more and change more and was challenged more. It was absolutely crazy. Crazy fun.

Today, I have no idea what is in that Journal. The mold and mildew has destroyed most of what was important. See, it was stored in a box on a shared wall in an apartment. The opposite wall was a kitchen, and it sprung a leak and soaked our closet. We noticed the smell before we found the problem. But we did what we could to salvage it and somewhere is an old journal that I love.

In today's world, it is really easy to whip out a tablet (like this Awesome ASUS SL101 that I am using now) and crank out some thoughts. Journaling is so easy. But it isn't as intimate as the hand written journal I once had. My life is slowing down again. I love this. I love taking the time to write out my thoughts on God and what he is doing. But to be honest, I want more. I desire to get back to the days when I was writing out my prayers and logging my day's events and stories.

Perhaps the problem is that we have packed our schedules so tight, we don't want to do anything slow that we could do fast. And I just don't know that we want to rush any relationship. A rushed relationship is not likely to be a good one.

To every season turn turn turn

There is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.

Today I think the message is mostly to Christians; people who are on top of their spiritual game and feel that there should be power in their prayers. But perhaps there isn't. In fact, perhaps prayer time is somewhat boring or feels out of place.

But if you look back on your life, you can identify times when you were faithful and full of life. When the word came alive in you and your prayers were powerful and effective. So the question going through your mind right now is "Why not now?"

This is crazy, but I have the same cycles in other areas of my life. Sometimes I love one salsa, but then I grow tired of it. I still eat it, but with less exuberance than before. If I leave it for a while, try other stuff, and then come back to it, I find my enthusiasm has returned.

Did I just compare my prayer life to salsa? Yes. I'm not saying this is right, but I am saying this is what my life looks like. I don't carry a lot of baggage, I keep short accounts. My conscious is clear and my family life is on solid footing. I typically am looking for service opportunities and I rarely put my needs ahead of the needs of others. And my prayer life, my quiet times, my Bible reading all fluctuate over time - each pulling harder at different times.

For me, I have to continue to pray. I can say I don't care, but I do. I still believe that God answers prayers and I believe that he has my best interests in mind. So I have to pray. I don't often see the results of my prayers, but I believe that some day I will. In 2 Corinthians 5:7 we are reminded that we need to live by faith. And later in that chapter that when we do, we will discover the old self has passed away and the new life has begun. So I press on, in faith, waiting for that incredible flavor that makes me long for more to return.

Hurt of unanswered prayer

We've all heard it. You pray, nothing happens. I've been there. And the hurt is unreal. I can remember one time just balling my eyes out with my buddy. We met regularly to chat about life and hold each other accountable to certain things. He knew what I was going through and then he helped me through the pain.

Ironically, a very similar thing happened, unanswered prayers. This time I wasn't as distraught, I was mad. And since then, my life has altered course.

So here is the official word from your pastor... Sometimes God says "No" to your prayer. Sometimes he says "Not yet." Sometimes he says "Yes" and sometimes he says "Grow!"

We see examples of stupid prayers in the Bible when the disciples wanted to destroy a town by calling down fire from heaven, and Jesus says 'No.' can you imagine that? How many times did they have other requests that weren't recorded that were just as crazy? We have the "let me sit at your right hand!" request, which went no where. So - yeah, sometimes the prayers don't make sense. We won't be able to see that until time passes.

"Not Yet." OK - That's an interesting one. I don't recall a not-yet case in my life. If anything, my example above was a not-yet that got changed to a not-ever. Now I say that with sarcasm. But I'm still a bit disappointed with God on this one (and I fully believe he is big enough to take it).

There is a legitimate argument here. For instance, when I sit at a computer, I like my area to be clean. I know what dust and dirt do to the keys and parts. But here comes my dog. He wants for all the world to be scratched. Do I do it? Not yet.

Then, there is the time when my dog comes to me rather withdrawn. In fact, I may just catch him wondering around in the hallway and he starts to get excited to see me, but then he stops and tucks in his tail. "What?" I ask... and yet I know. Somewhere in my house a new object (or a favorite object) has just been christened with the one leg salute. He isn't going to get anything from me until we have reconciled that situation.

Well, that's the GROW part for me. I'm mad. I honestly don't know if God is saying "No. Not Yet. or Grow." And since I don't know, all I can do is run to introspection and self evaluation. I can only hope to grow from this. Perhaps there is something that I've done wrong (peed on the carpet type thing) that I need to correct. That is very likely the case.

But honestly, this is where grace comes in. I know I'm a sinner. So I don't expect to have a clean slate any day of the week. So I'll pray, and I need to pray for grace as well.

Couple key thoughts

Sometimes I feel too chill. That is too relaxed. Perhaps I have an intellectual faith. There are those survey questions out there that ask how you respond in difficult situations. My history has shown that I laugh a lot. I'll say things like "Wow! This is really bad! Can you believe this? Wonder how we are going to get out of this one."

And yet here I am, the world continues to roll despite my greatest crisis. You could say that this is the result of a good world view. Sure. It's just that my world view is based on an eternal view. I've said it before, that I believe our time here on earth is but a vapor on the waves. Here for a moment, then gone. I've also said that I believe the spiritual world to be more real than the physical world.

OK Where am I going? Well, the emphasis over the last week or so has been on Prayer. And one of the lessons of prayer is to not look at the problem, but the problem solver. 

Think about it. Remember as a kid, working on a math problem and having no clue what to do? No matter how long you stare at the numbers, nothing makes sense. However, when you turn to the teacher and ask for help, you can finally make progress. 

I find most of my problems are this way. I don't know the way forward in a relationship. I don't know the best way to resolve a conflict. I don't know the best way to prepare for a presentation. That's when I look up and ask God for help. And I trust that no matter what happens, He put the words in my mouth at the moment I needed to say them to make things happen.

The second thing that is important is to press on through. Just like above, I look at the problems, I seek help, and I dive in. I'll pull resources that I think can help. I'll motivate people I think need motivation. I'll use all the gifts that God has given me to attack the problem. I don't just sit there and say "Well everyone, I prayed. Give it a couple minutes and it will all work out."

The end result for me is feeling like "Whew! We made it through!" But what is weird is that people look back at me and say "Yeah - you did a great job!" And I have no idea what they are talking about. For me, it is easy then to put those prayers of thanks back up to God.

The Bible says that faith and works go hand in hand. Sometimes, God parts the waters. But sometimes we have to do our part. I'm sure that the story of David and Goliath would have been omitted from the Bible had God chosen to just give Goliath a heart attack. Instead, David had to go into battle and use the tools he had - which weren't much. He had to press into the problem, but surely God did the rest.

So, perhaps I am to casual with my faith. I do believe that God will work it out. That takes a heap of burden off of me.

1 Samuel 17:45-49

David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell face down on the ground.

ACTS IV - Supplication - asking for stuff

This is the crushing blow for me. I refuse to believe that God doesn't answer prayer. But I also refuse to believe that he answers all prayers.

This post has a couple parts to it. First, my journal and pessimism shine through. Second, what I actually practice. As you read this, just hear my honesty and try not to judge. If you have personal experiences that reinforce or refute my comments, I'd be happy to hear them.

Asking for stuff, why bother
One thing I know is that he doesn't answer all my prayers. Even in the Bible, there are times when the disciples tried to perform the miracles that Jesus had instructed them to perform and they couldn't. Then Jesus comes along and takes care of things.

Frustration for me sets in at this point. God is capable, but are we? The disciples didn't know that they also needed to be fasting in order to perform that miracle. Like there is a cook book for getting your prayers answered.

Perhaps that is my problem. I read the verses about the persistent widow (who gets what she wants by pestering). Is that how you get prayers answered? Or from James 4 "you have not because you ask not, but then when you ask you ask with wrong motives." In modern times, that means we ask and then we say "not my will but yours be done." Which to me is the giant cop-out for "I have no faith." So I have to ask, but then I have to ask with right motives? How can I tell if my motives are pure?

John Piper writes:

One of the signs that God is going to do a great work is that he begins to stir up his people to pray for it. He lays a burden on a person here and a person there. He brings it back to their mind again and again. It stalks them. It drives them to their knees. Or it catches them on their knees.

When God aims to do a great work, the first thing he harnesses is the power of prayer. He starts by planting the spark of desire in a few hearts. Then through prayer he fans it into a flame. Then the flame of desire and faith spreads to others. Soon large numbers are on their knees imploring the great work. Then God acts. Then he pours down his blessing. God loves to do great works of redemption. But even more he loves to do it in answer to prayer.

So - essentially, you know your motives are right when God plants them in you...

Joan of Arc had this happen. At age 18, she was compelled by God to liberate France. She said the pestering in her ears was such she had to obey. It is interesting that after fulfilling the call to put the King on the throne in France, she said the burden was gone and she begged to go home. But the French leaders persuaded her into one more battle. She was captured and then burned at the stake. Nice. Way to obey God Joan.

I say all this with pessimism in my voice. But at the same time, I've had too many people come and share their direct answers to prayer with me. I have to believe that God does answer prayer. I just don't know which ones, why, and what purpose they all ultimately serve. I feel God is going to do what God is going to do. For instance, who was praying for Saul's conversion/salvation? Nobody is mentioned in the Bible, but it does say that he is God's chosen instrument. 

So you can see Thomas saying "God help me to be a disciple that represents you well." and God is like "Yeah, I'm going to use someone else. Thanks for playing."

And that's how I feel. I desire. I pray. I get sidelined. God has other plans. And so I've begun to ask the question, "What does it look like to be on the sideline for Jesus?" How many millions of people are out there like me? Somehow, they've been burdened with a desire to serve, but have been rejected by God's well intentioned chosen leaders. So they go to church, fill a pew, maybe even send in a tithe check. And check out the rest of the week. 

All that to say - perhaps my pessimism is the reason I feel my supplication prayers are ineffective.

My reality

Last thing. In case you are wondering, I regularly pray for my entire (living) family. I also pray specifically for missionaries, leaders (in and out of the church), friends, and perhaps most of all I pray for myself. You can tell that I wrestle with God. But His activity in my life has left me no choice. I can't deny that God is real any more than I can deny I have parents. It turns out that I can no more figure out God than I can figure out myself. But I have learned that He is big enough to handle my doubts and my arguments. 

My model for prayer is to take different days of the week to focus on different aspects. So do what works for you. In addition to all your prayers, choose to pray for something specific each day of the week.

Sunday         - pray for the church
Monday       - pray for yourself (you need it, it's Monday)
Tuesday       - pray for the one person you want to know Christ
Wednesday  - pray for leaders everywhere (Country, Church, Sports, Work, etc)
Thursday     - pray for the needy/the weak
Friday         - pray for your friends
Saturday      - pray for those closest to you

ACTS III, Thankfulness

Have you ever asked yourself about your decisions in life? Maybe something like "If I didn't have kids, I could have bought a new vehicle every couple years." or "If I wasn't married, I would probably be the smartest guy in the company - maybe even president." or "If I hadn't married Mr. NeedyBoy, I would be a Martha Stewart or Rachel Rae, or I'd be as fit as Jillian Michaels."

I continually am thankful that God would save a sinner like me. I know you may be thinking "How bad of a sinner are you? Seriously, you write about God and Jesus all the time. You seem like a holy roller to me."

And that's just it. I'm a dirty rotten scoundrel. Without God, I would lie, cheat, steal, and be narcisistic (self satisfying) as anyone you could imagine. I would be Mr. Popular, but have no real friends. You know the guys on the romantic comedy shows that look cool and have it all, but everybody that "knows" them hates them? Or how about in the new Disney movie Frozen <spoiler alert> there is the character Hans? I could be him.That God saved me from myself, that's pretty big to me.

There is the Jesus who saved me from being the bad guy in every romantic comedy. This would be a spiritual blessing to me. Why should I come to believe while others continue on rejecting this teaching?

Then there is the Jesus who has sustained this family since it began. Not only did I graduate college married and debt free, but within a year I was able to buy a house and a new car. In all my years of employment I never failed to receive a bonus - even if the company had a losing year. I'm not suggesting that my tithe was in exchange for these material blessings, but that as I was faithful, He proved himself faithful to me.

Then there is the Jesus who puts me in relationships that grow me. This could be small groups, youth groups, a boss or employee. There were years where I met mentors in the workplace and mentors in the church. In addition to the people he brought to me, there are the people that are dearest to me, my wife and kids, my parents and extended family. Perhaps I am lucky to have so many people that genuinely care for me. So I'm thankful for the relationships around me.

Lastly, there is the Jesus that answers prayer. Surely you have prayed for good weather or safe travels. How many people ask for these things and never say thanks?! And what about the healing for sickness, or the restoration of relationships that have gone bad? Again, are thanks in order? Let's not forget the encounter Jesus has with ten leppers in Luke 17:11-19.

Jesus Heals Ten Men With Leprosy

Thinking this all through, there seem to be spiritual, material, relational, and personal blessings. When you get to T in ACTS, think of these four things that you are grateful for.


Luke 17:11-19
Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”

When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”