Thanks GrandDad

My dad recently came across his father's journal from late High School and early college. My dad suggested that there we're gaps that made the journal interesting reading - but totally left you hanging.

I'm at the point of wanting to put more in writing just so my kids can see. There is also a part of me that is scared. I'm watching my grandmother walk through dementia. My mom is equally scared - and I've never had a good memory, so I'm really scared. I don't know how much longer I will have these memories. So perhaps I get more in here than I expect. But thanks goes to GrandDad for writing and for Dad for inspiring.

I've been working on trying to use the stock market to earn a daily income. I've been down this path before. In fact, the first time I tried this was probably over 10 years ago. In that time frame, I've taken two solid runs at it. This is the third time I've tried. The joke is that all three times I started, the market was going up. I got confidence quickly and then the market completely fell out and I ran away. This time, as the market is falling out, I'm doing OK. It is mostly because I don't have any other options. I have to make this work or I will be looking for another JOB.

My current plan is to trade the first hour of the morning... That's about 6:30am to 7:30am. So there is discipline in getting to bed and getting up.

There are other things I'm trying in the waking hours of the day. I have three devotional guides coming to me. One is "Our Daily Bread" another is from John Piper, another is from CS Lewis. Lastly, If these are not inspiring, I read a chapter from the Bible. Right now I happen to be in 2 Corinthians. The last thing I did was pick up a 153 hours of John Piper going through the book of Romans. I've listened to the first hour and my summary is:

• For God, praise is the sweet echo of his own excellence in the hearts of his people.
• For us, praise is the summit of satisfaction that comes from living in fellowship with God.

To speak to the heart of where I am with God right now, I have little praise. I feel like the neighbor who looks out his window and sees all the neighbors having a party. The neighbor throwing the party knows whom they will choose to come to the party, and I'm just not one of them. Sure, I'm his "friend," But I'm obviously not one of the "cool" guys.

So - I'm doing a lot of self examination and trying to figure out what's next. But hope springs eternal. I'm still looking in my mailbox for an invitation to something new.