Our church has recently started a new series for couples that were looking to focus on their marriage. This isn't a place where you go to find some new friends, this is a place to go when you realize if something doesn't change, the marriage could end.
The course hit a tough spot when it came to this area of confession. Many of us are unwilling to confess our sins one to another like it says in James 5:16 (Interesting that the Bible finishes that verse with "That you may be healed.").
Marriage is one place where it is important to keep a clean slate, but I also see it at work in my kids as they interact with each other. Each of us wants to believe that we are good. We're not trying to hurt anybody. But some how, some way, we do - even if we were trying to do the right thing. I've determined to try to keep a short account. I'll apologize even when I don't think I did anything wrong just to make peace and move on.
At least, that's what I tell myself. But in reality, when my wife and I hit the wall, I'm very reluctant to highlight my fault. I don't want to say "I was wrong for starting this conversation." Or "I'm sorry I said that. It was hurtful." The truth is, in those moments, I want the pain to stick.
I heard there was an Irish preacher who was recently converted to Christianity. He was previously a boxer. As he was setting up some tents for a travelling revival he was on, he started hearing taunts from some ruffians near by, they finally became bold enough to confront him directly. Sure enough, one struck him square across the face. The young preacher turned and defiantly stuck out his jaw - to which he received another blow. At that, the young Irish preacher took off his shirt and said "The Lord hath giv'n me no further instruction." and he promptly put an end to their meddling.
We do need to be cautious that we don't open ourselves up to abuse by one party. Constantly yielding can produce a false sense of authority in the other. We need to listen to each other and determine what is truth and what is false. And then we can have a better assessment of ourselves.
Turning this all back to the topic of prayer, we need to pray what we discover about ourselves back to God. Can you ask him for forgiveness? Can you say "Today I was a liar. Forgive me. Today I was a cheater. Forgive me. Today I was conceited, self-centered, overbearing, hot-tempered, lazy, sneaky, and I stole a cookie while nobody was looking. Forgive me."
Believe me, if you want to start correcting any areas of your life, pray/confess your sins to God daily. You'll want to stop saying those things about yourself. And you'll find that God's influence in your life (His power in you to change you) will increase.
James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
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