Measure of a Heart

I was at an event recently. It was designed to allow people to socialize and really determine if this is a group of people you could hang out with.

We've all been there. You show up at a social event and it is kind of like that Heineken Commercial "Cheers to the unexpected" You are the guy in a suit when everybody else is in a costume. Or you were expecting a couple people and you're shoulder to shoulder standing room only.

Socially we run into the same thing. You find yourself talking to the astrophysicist in the room. Or the person that knows everything about every subject. And let's not forget the me-monster.

Recently, I was being social, helping people relax and laugh when the laughter was interrupted by "Well let's let her answer the question!" My immediate thought was "you don't get invited to many parties do you?"

But the point for me is what makes a person someone you genuinely want to be around? I've been around some really intelligent people. And there is always a real person inside. The guy that founded the company, literally, did what Apple did with Xerox and made a GUI system out of nothing. And I was able to find he's a beach volleyball player. Bottle bottom glasses and a beach volleyball player.

Similarly, there are people at these events that want to be social, but don't know how. You have the opportunity to spread the circle wider. I often say I have DES (Darting Eye Syndrome) because I bring someone into the circle, then immediately start looking for the next outlier.

You have to be willing to pause, and inquire about the details. There is an intangible element to it. I always go back to the heart condition. I'm a guy that is changed. I know that if I wasn't captured by a love that is unconditional, I wouldn't know what it would be like to love other people in the same way.

I really believe when you interact with people, you can sense their heart condition. It's like the Hallmark movies. Right away you can tell who has the big heart and is genuine, and who has the wrong motivations in life. And you're wondering why the main character hasn't figured it out yet.

At tryouts, my son was reflecting on the same thing. In an hour and a half, he's commenting about the negative vibes he gets from players that are just trying to show off they are the best. When really the coach is looking to find he players that not only have good skills, but also have great attitudes.

Many great minds are amazing and wonderful. And these could be considered great people. But I believe the true measure of a man is around his heart.