Questioning His power

I have a problem in my prayer life. I often feel like I have to say a lot of "Thank You's." We were recently taking care of a couple extra kids for a couple weeks. After dinner prayers, the youngest would report the number of times someone said "and" in the prayer. So - typically, it was "thank you for .... and thank you for ... and thank you for ... "

My prayer life is largely hidden from my children. As a result, all they see is God is some massive provider that dumps blessing after blessing. This isn't horrible, but where is the God that I pray to that is taking care of the mess in my life and the pain around me? That's also very real to me, but not my kids.

I think that they suffer (as many of us do) from a lack of belief in Him giving a rip about us. If I pray asking for something, will he really listen? Will he act on my behalf?

Classic example for me is praying for my friends who are on death's doorstep. I pray for people who have a cold and I pray for cancer patients. The people who have a cold have been known to get better 100% of the time, but I've had a 0% success rate with cancer patients.

This makes me mad at God. I have to be honest. I'm filled with a lot of doubt about my faith. I hurt.

Perhaps you are like me in that sense. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that He is still working in today's world. It's rarely me that hears a direct answer to prayer, but many of my close friends have. From watching muscle grow back on a lame man's leg to hearing a quiet voice direct someone to a specific passage of scripture. I had a friend that showed me a picture of Jesus floating beside their plane in a cloud. Seriously, a film photograph! My own great grandmother died and came back and shared her death experience with us.

My faith is largely based on the teachings of Christ being true, but then on the personal experiences that I have had and that those near me have had. So whether or not God chooses to answer my prayer, I still pray. I'm compelled to pray because I believe Ephesians 3 that he can do even more than I can imagine. And perhaps one day, my friend will be healed of Cancer.

A Prayer for the Ephesians
Ephesians 3:14-21
For this reason I kneel before the Father,  from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.