Blowing up

This weekend should have been awesome. We had two teams in the state tournament that were both projected to do well. I had to work for one of the games. No big deal.

I got there for the majority of the second game where our boys were down by one. They equalized and really should have done better. But it wasn't to be. They lost in a shootout. 

But the good news is the other son went on to win yet another state championship. Woo hoo!

Then there was the Big Game. Of course, I'm tired of the dynamic duo, so I worked on cleaning out my email while looking up only to see if there were any fun commercials. 

At the end of it all, I had a couple rough conversations over the weekend. The first was with my folks. They pressed me on a job situation they know nothing about and then I pressed them on a primary care situation that I'm not qualified to speak about. In the end it was a "tense" discussion with some awkward moments of silence as the other realized there was no budging on this topic.

The second would be with my son who felt compelled to argue about returning an item to the store. The logic is always dumbfounding when you deal with your college kids. 

Oh - and I suppose I failed to mention the wife situation with the kids not supposed to be using the game system, but they were.

While I didn't feel the weekend was particularly bad, what I realized is that I didn't handle any of those conversations the way I should have. And I had to ask, "What's under my skin?"

I find that when something is bothering me, everything is impacted. Victories seem less sweet. Relationships seem stressed, and my voice gets louder despite the fact I have no desire to yell. 

Am I holding something in that I need to give up.

I know I need to be quick to listen to others. I didn't listen well. 

I know I need to be slow to get angry. I wasn't crazy bad, but I was emphatic. 

For me, I'm guessing it is the stress of not having clear direction on the job front. Time is pressing and I'm going to be feeling that pressure more and more as the months pass. I'm praying against the critical nature I have so that I'm not blowing up at the small things - like returning something to the store. 

Is there something you are bottling up and carrying around that might blow at any time? Try to identify it and surrender it.