We All Need Forgiveness

I was thinking about this recently as I have been down a very interesting path. I picked the path I'm walking, however, there was a point where I was clearly kicked off my trail.

That point hurt very much as it spoke to several issues in my approach to people. In general, I feel people are "good" and wouldn't intentionally make bad choices if they have all the right information.

In the end, that belief just isn't true. People will make choices that either cause them pleasure or reduce pain in their lives. Logic doesn't necessarily come into play when they make those decisions.

So I've had to walk down this path. Why was I in a position to forgive someone who harmed me? I'll take responsibility for my part. Perhaps it was performance related. Perhaps it was personality. But let me just say I won't sluff all the responsibility to the other party. So step one, I'm owning my part in messing something up (even if it isn't clear to me).

Well, if I'm able to mess up and not know why, then it is possible the other person messed up and they don't know why. Essentially, we may have a communication problem. The only difference being that they are in a position to make decisions that impact me, where I'm not in that position. Allowing for the mistake, I am going to have to commit to let it go and move on.

When I say move on, I'm trying to stop bringing it up. This is interesting to me. Whenever I see someone that has offended me, I think instantly to the impact it had on my life and how it changed the trajectory of me and my family. There are two people that still cause me pain just at the sight of them. Chances are, and we all know this, they are ignorant to the heart ache I'm experiencing.

I'm not sure how to erase those memories or feelings, but that isn't the point or goal. I am simply responsible for forgiving them, not holding it against them, and not talking about them behind their back.

The last part is hard.

Now, it is also clear that we need to get away from people who are abusive. These actions need to be brought to light and stopped. Forgiveness can still happen, but staying in a situation that continues to cause pain is not healthy.

My hope is that you will be able to forgive. We all need it. I'm not perfect. I'm striving to do better and as far as it depends on me, to live in harmony with others. However, I do have a fuse and it does have an endpoint. So I know I need forgiveness. Knowing I need it helps me to realize I need to give it to others.

Colossians 3:13