Love and logic. What do you do when they want to do something that isn't "wrong" just isn't what we want them to do right now. Perhaps it is a long term habit you don't want to form. In our house, there is a constant draw for screen time, "I'm done with dinner, can we watch a movie?" We really want to give them what they want and not exasperate them. But the constant asking is exasperating to me. What's the balance?
Well, we try to be up front about what we do in a given day. We try to make sure that they know when an appropriate time to ask for screen time is. I was really stoked to see Geoff Baker write in the Seattle Times an article on Shaun Alexander ("Mr. Touchdown") who is focusing on what matters. But he had this excerpt which I instantly fell in love with and shared with the boys in my house:
When I shared it with my boys, we talked about shooting the gap between the blockers and how that timing is important. I used my fists to show how good timing, the fists are apart, bad timing, those fists are together and you can't get through. This morning, one of the boys asked "Is the wall open?" Then they made the sign with the two fists together? He was exploring whether or not now was good time to ask that question about screen time.All eyes are on Shaun Alexander as he kneels on his living room floor and draws a chalk figure of a man on a small blackboard.Alexander then draws a watch on the man’s wrist, a squiggly line next to him and a staircase in front of him. When he is done, he turns to the young children watching and asks them to name words they can associate with the drawing.“Timing!’’ one shouts.“Yes, timing,’’ Alexander says. “That’s from the watch, right? So, what’s timing?”In unison, the children reply: “Doing things in the right moment.’’Alexander nods in agreement. “A lot of times,’’ he tells them, “there are many things we’d like to do and want to do. But if people do it at the wrong time, they set themselves up to not get what they really want. Because, guess what? If we do it at the right time, it actually works.’’
I hope this sticks.
Referenced Article:
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